Among the top Google queries this year, common questions included “When does McDonald’s stop serving breakfast?”, “What’s the purpose of chainsaws?”, “How old is Dolly Parton?” and “What is love?” These all were frequently searched, excluding the query about how to eradicate gnats. However, those who regularly follow the Champions League might predict these queries will soon be overtaken by a new question: “Why did Uefa schedule Tuesday and Wednesday’s quarter-finals to start concurrently?”
If you missed the highlights of Barcelona v PSG and Borussia Dortmund v Atlético Madrid on Tuesday due to tuning into the wrong channel at an inappropriate time, you’re not alone. The notion of using multi screens isn’t feasible for many, as our two eyes can generally only focus on one Champions League quarter-final at once.
So, it begs the question, Manchester or Munich?
According to Tommy Martin from Virgin Media, the answer should be Manchester. Though his opinion might carry a bias given that Virgin Media were the broadcasters for this match. He argued that, while the Munich match could have appealed to football purists, it wouldn’t necessarily be inferior if you chose to watch the Manchester match instead. In a nutshell, he was correct when he inquired, “These Champions League quarter-finals, have they not been fantastic?”
Brian Kerr and Damien Delaney concurred, especially in comparison to the universally dull group stages, as Brian diplomatically remarked. Damien empathised with those who found it frustrating when phone notifications about exciting moments in the other match distract us while trying to focus on one game.
In the past, you could block out updates from the ‘other’ match, and watch the highlights recorded on your VCR, which always felt like watching the game “live”.
As Damien subtly implied, the possibility of avoiding the final score seems impossible unless you suppress your television, silence your mobile phone, restrict your wrist-watch, calm your canine, deactivate your microwave, lock your front door, and ignore your neighbour (a devout Spurs fan, who tends to vocally express each time Bayern inches towards a goal). Regardless, we all are responsible for the choices we make, and we must bear the consequences, be they joys or sorrows.
It’s game time.
Lately, you might have observed that a significant amount of criticism has been hurled at female pundits and co-commentators. This is primarily by unemployed football managers who, with an abundance of free time, strive to gain attention on Twitter. They do so by suggesting unconventional theories such as the Loch Ness monster conspiring with vaccinated Chemtrails to assassinate Kennedy.
The only respite these women receive is when Steve McManaman is on commentary duty for TNT Sports. The reason being his unique comments, like, “Declan Rice doesn’t often score, but when he does, they usually find themselves in the back of the net”. It’s only then that those who believe in the Loch Ness Chemtrail theories admit that poor commentary might not be exclusively related to one’s sex.
Following Kevin De Bruyne’s failed attempt at goal that saw the ball fly high over the bar, McManaman commented that De Bruyne “did everything right.” However, he later redeemed himself.
On Tuesday, we were treated to a series of fantastic goals, whereas on Wednesday there was a singular score by the 76th minute. Regrettably, Rodrygo’s attempt in Manchester was overlooked as focus shifted to Munich. The only consolation was Ally McCoist enquiring Adam Sommerton, the commentator, whether Bayern’s Konrad Laimer was “Dutch or Belgian”, to which Adam promptly responded, “Austrian.”
Madrid took the lead in Manchester, and not long after that, Joshua Kimmich of Bayern secured the advantage in Munich. Following this, Ally asked, “Swiss or Polish?”, to which Adam responded, “German”. Put simply, disregard any misinformation.
In Munich, that’s how things stood; Bayern felt secure at home, considering themselves the clear victors. Madrid shared the same sentiment before De Bruyne equalised, pushing the game into overtime. At this juncture, our attention was undivided, fixated on this single event. Nevertheless, it had been an overwhelming couple of days with overlapping matches. By the end, all one could resort to was questioning their whereabouts on Google.