“A year can bring about a world of change.
One year prior, Simon Harris found himself a humble minister for tertiary education, wrestling with an all-consuming TikTok obsession all the while grappling with thoughts of impending old age, a Sinn Féin-led government, and the prospect of life amidst the Opposition.
As he marked his 37th birthday in the preceding October, he could at least derive some solace from the notion that regardless of any complications, there was invariably an available slice of birthday cake. However, this wasn’t evident upon mere observation.
Little did he anticipate that by the time his next birthday rolled around, he would be slicing into his birthday cake as the Taoiseach and head of Fine Gael. Lo and behold, he sat in the Council of Europe in Brussels on the day he turned 38. He was warmly congratulated by his fellow leaders and received gifts from the prime ministers of Latvia and Lithuania. It must have felt quite unreal.
When he returned to Dublin the following day, his staff had decorated his office in Government Buildings and even sprung for a chocolate cake and an exceptional balloon, one similar to the ones brought to those irritating gender reveal parties. This particular balloon was a candidate reveal balloon.
As the Taoiseach poked at the balloon with the edge of an election promise, it exploded with a considerable bang, revealing a fully formed Noel Rock amidst a flurry of Fine Gael confetti, to the round of applause, cheers and popping of prosecco bottles. A sight one could only imagine.
The former TD of Dublin North-West startled the political sphere that Friday afternoon when he proclaimed his intent to run for the Dáil, despite previous declarations of no return. What finer birthday surprise could a novice Taoiseach ask for?
That evening, Harris attended a showing of Hamilton with his wife. He was particularly captivated by the song ‘Shot’ sung by Alexander Hamilton which held the ideal chorus for an ambitious and eager Taoiseach on the cusp of his first general election as the party leader.
Let’s hope he was able to resist any spontaneous urges to break into dance amid the aisles of the Bord Gáis.”
A persisting question for Sinn Féin continues: to whom are ye faithful? Mattie McGrath’s broadly applicable query for political situations aptly encapsulates Sinn Féin’s dilemmas this week.
The question came to prominence during Montrose Inquisition 2023, when the leadership of RTÉ was summoned before the Public Accounts Committee (PAC). Depending on the listener’s perspective, this question carried two distinct interpretations.
Indeed, to whom does Sinn Féin owe its loyalty?
Following a testing week of responding to demanding questions and reluctantly providing anything but satisfying answers, Sinn Féin’s reporting of internal management of potentially harmful incidents involving high-ranking members has left many in Leinster House questioning the political chain of command across the counties.
Dublin or Belfast?
Questions are also being raised about whether Sinn Féin’s loyalty to the republican movement supersedes its duty to the State and parliament.
RTÉ and others suspected Mattie asked: Who are ye lying to?
Perhaps there’s no deception involved, but the truth from Sinn Féin seems to flow reluctantly at present. The party maintains this is due to legal and other obligations, especially since they sought involvement from An Garda Síochána to help navigate the situation.
Both the Government and significant factions of the Opposition remain unsatisfied with Sinn Féin’s vague explanations of their handling of unfitting behaviour – even criminal actions – by party affiliates, and their management of unspecified situations leading to the resignation of their deputy for Laois and former PAC chair, Brian Stanley.
As the week unfolded, Leinster House questioned whether this was the final disclose of Sinn Féin’s indiscretions, or if more revelations awaited.
Interestingly, Mattie and his colleagues from the Rural Independent Group vocally backed Sinn Féin in the Dáil on Tuesday night, following criticism from other major parties. They viewed the situation as a diversion from critical issues and a politically inclined witch hunt by the Government on the brink of a general election.
Operating under the confusion, Agent Cobalt quietly disappeared from the Sinn Féin chaos.
The most relieved person of the week? Agent Cobalt.
Mary Lou’s multifaceted mishaps stole the headlines, giving the undercover Russian agent in Leinster House some respite as the limelight turned towards Sinn Féin and their troubled history. The excitement that surged from a Sunday Times article, alleging the presence of a Putin ally working within the Irish legislature, dwindled as distressing information began to emerge from various sides, predominantly Parnell Square and west Belfast.
Gossip surrounding the enigmatic ‘Cobalt’ lessened in both the Dáil and Seanad. Having said that, Fianna Fáil’s Malcolm Byrne ingeniously dropped a reference in a Wednesday conversation while appreciating Green senator Vincent P Martin’s exceptional Bill for safeguarding the indigenous Irish honey bee, which successfully navigated all stages in the Seanad that very Wednesday.
Contemplating the previous week’s happenings, Byrne pondered the necessity of another bill dedicated to honey “honeypots”. The Cathaoirleach Jerry Buttimer queried if this was an official proposition, to which Byrne responded with a simple “No.”
Onto another event, Micheál Martin narrowly evaded a public relations debacle. Our dashing Micheál’s moment of the week then unfolded during Thursday’s questions on policy and legislation. James O’Connor, also from Fianna Fáil, raised concerns over the rapid expansion of solar farms in eastern Cork. He communicated with Micheál, informing him that these developments, ranging from 450 to 1,200 acres in size, could potentially displace the largest bovine population in the country.
Residents of east Cork expressed unease over the prospects of local green fields being replaced with grey solar panels. The Tánaiste responded by emphasising the need for approaching this issue with consideration for constitutional property rights, as well as the importance of maintaining a delicate balance between harnessing solar energy and preserving food security and production.
Appealing to aesthetics, he spoke fondly of vast, “beautiful fields” visible in that part of Cork, where he grew up. He stressed how crucial it is to avoid transforming Ireland’s iconic 40 shades of green into… Here, he hesitated, realising he was venturing into potentially indecorous territory, “…Forty shades of grey.”
A self-satisfied grin occupied Saucy Micheál’s face as he exasperatedly provoked Anne Rabbitte and Mary Butler, sitting in the row behind him. The spectacle might have been enough to ruin one’s breakfast, unless it was reflective of his parliamentary party’s status quo. This scene unfolded as politics heated up in Wexford, permeating into the Dáil.
Verona Murphy, Wexford’s independent TD who is never hesitant in expressing her views in the Dáil Éireann, targeted Fianna Fáil’s Mary Butler in an intensely personal tirade in the Dáil last Thursday. Understandably, the atmosphere being quite formidable, given the current pre-election environment, has politicians on their toes fearing the potential loss of their jobs.
Murphy and Butler both represent areas within the sunny southeast, namely neighbouring Waterford. The discourse escalated when Murphy addressed the volunteer-driven River Slaney Search and Rescue organisation. This organisation, frequently approached to retrieve bodies from the water, receives no funding from the state.
To make matters worse, Murphy pointed out the deficiency of a round-the-clock mental health service in the county. This facility could, in theory, mitigate some of the tragedies and lessen the demand on the rescue service. However, Butler, who is the Minister of State for Mental Health, countered with the assertion that such organisations do have access to funding if they meet certain regulatory and compliance requisites. She insisted, contrary to Murphy’s claim, that Wexford did indeed offer 24-hour support for mental health patients.
“Individuals can go to the emergency department in Wexford General Hospital. In case of after-hours emergencies, that should be their first point of contact,” she clarified.
But Murphy remained unimpressed, shifting her focus onto party leader Micheál Martin, belittling him for his idle chatter – an action, as she put it, that bolsters Independents’ election prospects. Mary was incensed and admonished her for her horrendous conduct, accusing her of revelling in the limelight of southeast radio as a deputy. Despite the severe criticism, Verona retorted defiantly, warning Mary that a moment of reckoning awaited her every time a person was discovered in the Slaney. Such a retaliation was unwarranted and left Mary visibly stunned.
In Wexford, political tension is palpable due to the circulating speculations about Mick Wallace, a previous TD and recently defeated MEP, planning to strive for his former position. Local political watchers estimate that if Wallace was to stand again for the newly allocated four-seat Wexford constituency, he would have considerable chances of success. They believe his re-entry could cause significant issues for Sinn Féin’s Johnny Mythen and Verona. Wallace is known for his typical tendency to announce his intentions at the last moment, which adds more stress to the anxieties of jumpy candidates. Upon being questioned about his plans to run, Wallace admitted candidly, “To be quite frank, I’m yet to decide.”