Let’s be honest, only the virtuous seem to pass away! Irrespective of whether they’re 2, 82, or even 102, people always say, “Their kind will not grace our presence any more.” Truly, it’s disheartening for those left behind, solitary, forsaken, in our World of Worry.
Methods of remembrance often contribute to this notion. Visit any cemetery and you’ll observe – etched on gleaming gravestones – eulogies to the most benevolent saints we’ve had to bid farewell, gone forever. Similarly, obituaries invariably portray the deceased in a saintly light. To a greater extent, this can be attributed to the grieving process, coupled with the commendable – if somewhat burdensome – Irish tradition of only speaking fondly of those who have left us.
However, it can be irksome to hear virtues extolled of a deceased individual known to be a scoundrel (or worse), during funeral services. Especially when everyone in attendance is well acquainted with the true nature of the person but, out of compassion, maintains the pretence to support those grieving. Those suffering the most are aware of the truth but feel compelled to comply with the prescribed rituals.
Case in point, a recent obituary for a felon from Dublin articulated that he passed away “tranquilly, amidst his cherished family.” Predictably the eulogy claimed, “he endowed us with invaluable life lessons.” His illegally amassed fortune was not an exception.
Parallelly, the acknowledgement that “your love, life, ethics moulded us into the individuals we are today,” held true. Especially noting the fact that his offspring include some of the most infamous miscreants in Ireland.
Contrastingly, there was an unusually candid obituary for Florence ‘Flo’ Harrelson from Glenburn, Maine, US. This 65 year-old lady’s obituary was shared on the Kennebec Journal and Morning Sentinel’s website last August.”
The text stated, “Florence passed away on 22nd of February, 2024, without the presence of her kin due to severed relations and her path of chaos. She didn’t wish for her demise to be known, even less spoken of by her family. This desire stemmed from her wish to instil a sense of dread in those she had terrorised even after her death. Hence, this is less of an obituary, and more of a public notice.”
This was penned by Ms Harrelon’s daughter, Christina, who came to know about her mother’s demise half a year later.
The term ‘Eulogy’ has its roots in Latin ‘eulogium’, and Greek ‘eulogia’, both signifying ‘praise’.