When Richard Gadd penned Monkey See Monkey Do for the 2016 Edinburgh Fringe, he points out it was before the #MeToo movement had raised awareness of sexual abuse, notably, abuse against men. He was 27 at the time, plagued by severe anxiety, arousing the concern of his flatmates who questioned his wellbeing and actions.
The show, a far cry from traditional stand-up comedy despite securing the Edinburgh comedy award that year, provides a raw and discomforting narrative of his rape by a cunning older man that he’d encountered early in his career. It is a deeply distressing spectacle as Gadd’s budding ambitions and aspirations are bartered and exploited, resulting in his desolation.
Were his friends apprehensive that revisiting such trauma may shatter him? Or were they worried that a lack of empathy from the audience would obliterate his remaining trust in humanity? Gadd admits it was a blend of both but, mostly, they doubted the humour in it.
Gadd’s humor can be described as dry, effortless, and incisive both onstage and onscreen. The umbrella comment would be, “it’s humorous because it is factual”.
His TV mini-series, Baby Reindeer, hit Netflix recently and gained worldwide popularity within a week. While it could technically be viewed as a televised version of Gadd’s stage show of the same name, which followed three years after Monkey See Monkey Do, it is more accurately a fusion of the two.
“It’s evidently resonated,” he comments. “I truly believed in the show, but its rapid success has left me somewhat taken aback.”
The compelling nature of the story wasn’t so much about it being a factual account as it left many spectators taken aback upon discovering this. Characters’ names and personal specifics were altered, with Gadd acting in the main role as Donny, and a rearrangement of the timeline and incidents was done to enhance dramatic peaks, according to Gadd. “The emotional authenticity is unquestionable: I was seriously harassed and abused. However, we desired it to be situated in the domain of art while shielding those it portrays.”
The narrative unfolds in 2015 as a lady, whose identity remains confidential but is known as Martha in Baby Reindeer, commenced shadowing Gadd. The character Martha is old than Gadd in the story; however, she is twenty years his senior in reality. She instilled terror from the very beginning by routinely spending countless hours seated across Donny in a pub where he worked. She would consume a single Diet Coke whilst showering him with eerily precise praises. Having gotten his email address, Martha sent hundreds of emails daily. Upon discovering Donny’s profession as a comedian, she disrupted each of his performances by publicly announcing her relationship with him, causing uncertainty amongst spectators whether she was just a part of the act or poised to dismantle it.
Martha lived in a world of fantasies. She posed as a solicitor when actually she had been dismissed owing to a prior charge for stalking her advocate boss. Above all, she asserted her love for Donny. Once she knew his address, she kept a close eye on his house and tormented his former girlfriend both online and in reality.
Gadd’s tale of stalking, which rapidly gained popularity, resonates with many, paints a picture of common fears in the world today. The internet is a hotbed for numerous interactions between unfamiliar people, leading to overfamiliarity evolving into hostile fantasies, and lust turning into anger and hatred. It’s unclear just how gravely such actions should be regarded. To stay mentally balanced, one might choose to see these acts as insignificant, reducing them to mere digital noise like elevator music. Yet, there radiates an unsolved mystery: what if these virtual threats transitioned into the real world? Considering the frequent voluntary reveals of personal information in the virtual sphere, how could one escape from an individual hell-bent on bridging these two worlds? The unsettling reality appears to be: escape is impossible.
Aged 34, Gadd is hypercritical of his actions and his role in this horrific scenario. The narrative heavily emphasises times when he could have potentially put an end to the situation. Did he unintentionally encourage Martha by giving her a free Diet Coke? Did he ignite a disaster by sharing a cup of tea with her once? Personally, I’m sceptical that any assertive approach could have altered the outcome, given that his stalker was detached from reality right from the beginning. However, Gadd is firm in his belief that he played a part in this: “People tend to fear acknowledging their mistakes, many of which are often a by-product of trying to please others. Individuals often prefer sticking to mendacity to dodge the strain of a situation. I never wanted to upset someone vulnerable.”
My anxiety was tangible, almost like it could be sliced with cutlery. It felt as if it seeped out from my being.
A year into the ordeal, Martha’s harassment was intensifying; she’d pushed Donny to relocate and she no longer knew his address. However, she has now started tormenting his parents. Like Gadd, Donny chose to remain silent about the sexual assault he suffered, which added significantly to his burden. “The weight of silence was unbearable, especially during the holiday season where everyone was oblivious to my suffering. The impact of that pressure was immeasurable,” he narrates. His comedy career was also unaffected by Martha’s constant presence, leading to many performances turning out to be a disaster. In the show, he was portrayed as a dreadful entertainer with tacky props, cheesy sound effects, and showy outfits, drawing awkward laughter from unsettled audiences. But in reality, he explains, “I wasn’t that bad of a comedian. I also believe Donny isn’t a bad comedian, he’s simply not performing correctly.”
A major turning point was when his agent suggested he perform in Edinburgh. Gadd himself always enjoyed success there: “My act was welcomed at the Fringe where people appreciated the quirky side of performances. On the flip side, the remaining 11 months of the year, I was met with silence on the comedy circuit since people expected more mainstream acts that they were used to from television. If they were paying high ticket prices, they clearly preferred established, experienced comedians. Then comes some guy attaching ears to his nose, absolutely not what they signed up for.”
However, by 2016, he was battling a personal torment that made him rethink his comedy career path, “The experiences I had been through were traumatic, and I felt absurd that I was back to wearing wigs and fake teeth for my act. The two worlds seemed incompatible.” He found love with a trans woman, portrayed by the dazzling Nava Mau, but their relationship collapsed as it became another fixation for Martha’s destructive fixation. Recalling the anxiety he felt while preparing for an Edinburgh show, he states: “It felt like I was dicing my anxiety with a knife and fork. I could almost feel it pouring out of me.”
On stage, he dramatically recounted his experience of sexual assault in the spotlight during the show. The inspiration for his real-life composition, Monkey See Monkey Do, was remembered in the panicked 45 minutes leading up to its debut performance amid a floundering technical rehearsal. He laughingly recalls an exchange with the exasperated producer asking him what he hoped for from this disaster. On the brink of tears, he simply hoped to survive the ordeal. Little did he anticipate that the overwhelming reception from the audience and their acceptance of his traumatic experience would end up being his salvation. He marvels at how life unfolded in his favour.
Nonetheless, his stalker, stirred up by his triumph post Monkey See Monkey Do, escalated her activities causing him great distress and even threatened to contact his parents again. Gadd was reared in Fife, with his father working in a university lab and his mother in several school-related jobs. His family was not challenging or repressed, yet he struggled to disclose his rape ordeal and the following sexual identity confusion with them. He admits that his family has been wonderfully supportive, but the scene in Baby Reindeer, where he’s frantically heading back to Scotland to beat Martha to informing his parents, is such an anxiety-inducing scene, similar to a meaningful episode of 24.
Gadd has collaborated with the charity, We Are Survivors. He never fails to express his gratitude for their significant support over the years, crediting them for instigating his decision to break his silence, the first step they propose. On occasions when he has conversed with other male survivors, although he clarifies he is not an expert or counsellor, his initial advice remains: break the silence. Talk to someone, or if that seems too daunting, start by simply jotting it down, turning it into something tangible. He believes that the act of expressing it makes the trauma seem less overwhelming.
Although he doesn’t want to be solely known as the man who continually mines his soul for material, he declares that every writer extracts from within.
“He reflects that the newer generation seems to be shifting away from old-style preconceptions, but he acknowledges having grown up under the influence of traditional expectations around manhood. For instance, societal norms suggesting that the male figure should always bear the mantle of strength, not showing emotions such as crying, and embodying a rigid sense of masculinity. He admits these norms subtly seep into one’s consciousness and in the aftermath of being sexually abused, they heightened his sense of disempowerment. It was liberating for him when he dismissed these outdated beliefs, recognising that expressing vulnerability was, in fact, an act of strength and that adhering to the masculine stereotype was not the only route to survival.
The TV series Gadd is developing for BBC, named Lions, mirrors the experience of two siblings and their interpretation of manhood and maturation. Despite Baby Reindeer not being his first acting stint—he was part of the series Code 404 during 2020-2022—Gadd has come across as being more of an actor, rather than a comedian, in it. Interestingly, his background as a standup comedian has considerably fortified his writing prowess. Unlike actors, comedians frequently find themselves bifurcating their time between roles and writing.
For now, he has focused on creating content based on his life experiences. He firmly asserts that he is not on a quest to explore risky territories to uncover more painful experiences for storytelling. Instead, he believes that every writer proudly wears a badge which states ‘based on a true story’, as the most engaging shows are often deeply rooted in the writers’ own experiences.
Despite being sexually assaulted, Gadd did not confide in the police. When he does summon the courage to voice the stalking incidents that unfold in Baby Reindeer, the inadequacies and skewed preconceptions of masculinity in law enforcement become evident. The police, initially dismissive of the threats posed by Martha—a character who is, in reality, violent and frightening—believing that a man could not be at risk. Adding insult to injury, Donny is subjected to the distressing task of sifting through countless messages to find an explicit threat, a process that is not only traumatic but ineffective as well.”
Gadd stated that despite his encounters with dedicated police officers, he recognises an inherent issue within the system. According to him, the police force as an institution requires reformation. The alarming state of public services did not escape his notice, as he expressed his concern about seeing the visible stress on police officers due to inadequate resources. Gadd voiced his disappointment about ignored distress calls that ended in unfortunate outcomes. Despite the challenges he faced while reporting his stalking case, Gadd felt it necessary to share his observations.
When discussing the theatrical rendition of Baby Reindeer, Gadd mentioned that the stalker’s role is depicted by a stool. Monkey See Monkey Do was once a solo performance. Re-enacting certain moments with fellow actors, with Jessica Gunning delivering an exceptional performance as Martha and Tom Goodman-Hill as Darrien, was a ‘complex’ task for Gadd. He recognised the process as emotionally provoking, nonetheless, the optimistic reception and validation from audiences helped him cope.
Gadd admitted that even though the recreation of some scenes induced emotional tension on the film set, everybody, including the prop and lighting crew, were aware that the work was aimed at a significant objective. He desired that the show could make a substantial impact, and he deemed the personal sacrifice worthwhile.
Baby Reindeer is currently available for viewing on Netflix.