Chimene Suleyman’s memoir, ‘The Chain’, is among the most peculiar autobiographical accounts you’ll come across. It begins with Suleyman on her way to a New York abortion clinic in January of 2017, accompanied by her boyfriend who she believes to be loving and supportive. On leaving the clinic, she is startled to find him gone, his phone redirected to voicemail and their flat emptied of his possessions – and some of hers. When she desperately tries to locate him by reaching out to his friends, she receives an unexpected and scornful reply from him, instructing her not to contact his friends again and suggesting she is unworthy of love.
The story becomes even more bizarre when Suleyman, searching his name on Instagram, stumbles upon details of his other relationships. A sketch of him posted by an Australian woman, with a caption referring to him as a psychopath, leads to her contacted the Australian woman and uncovering a web of deceit involving multiple women across the globe, all connected to the man she once believed to be loving.
This man, simply referred to as ‘he’ or ‘him’, was seeing a multitude of women simultaneously, deceitfully borrowing large sums of money from those who had any to spare – he even conned one woman out of $30,000 (€27,680). His regular absences were explained away by his need to visit his allegedly ‘dying mother’ in Atlanta – a woman none of the others ever met.
Uncovering the sheer magnitude of his deception is daunting, and keeping abreast of the facts can be bewildering. Questions abound: how many women fell victim to his charm, becoming pregnant? How many abortions did he coerce? Across how many countries and cities did his seductive trail lead? How much money had he swindled from these unsuspecting women? The havoc this one man managed to cause is almost unfathomable.
I’m in conversation with Chimene Suleyman via FaceTime, dialling in from her parents’ house in Cyprus. She has Turkish-Cypriot roots, but she grew up in London, hence her unmistakably British manner of speaking. At the point when she first met ‘Him’, she was a few years into a five-year-residency in New York, however, she is now back living in London.
As she refers to ‘Him’, the central character in her book, he is presented as an individual of extremes. Suleyman contends in her book that we are all familiar with these different faces of him. It is unfortunate, but not uncommon for men to walk away from their partner during critical moments, whether it’s an abortion, miscarriage, childbirth or child rearing. Carefully selecting her words for legal protection, Suleyman discusses the unpleasant truth: that women often fall prey to sexual exploitation or fall victim to intimate images being circulated as an act of revenge porn.
Evidently, his unethical behaviour towards women extended beyond Suleyman, with a staggering 50 other women he had allegedly been involved with sharing their experiences on one of her Instagram posts.
Observing his behaviour over time, Suleyman articulates a pattern she noted: he branded himself a comedian who performed frequently in New York. He would claim to be involved in varying film projects globally, promising to pay back the finances he borrowed once the projects wrapped up. These projects were non-existent, however, regardless of whether he claimed to be in Australia, Norway or Los Angeles, he was on the hunt for additional women via Tinder.
Suleyman impresses upon how instrumental social media was to his actions, describing it as double edged sword. On one side, it allowed him access to a plethora of potential victims. Conversely, it was also the platform that empowered the women to connect and validate their experienced realities, making each other realise they weren’t just imagining things.
Upon discovering a sketch and the name of a man she’d once dated on an Australian woman’s Instagram account, Suleyman initiated a chain reaction. A post that was in line with the emergence of the MeToo movement led to an unexpected camaraderie among 50 women who claimed to have also dated him. The women formed a large Instagram group, which turned into frequent meet-ups and, eventually, friendships among those based in New York.
Their collective discourse sparked the idea for a book. Suleyman sought to answer how many other pregnancies this man had been responsible for. She confirmed that there were two concurrent with hers, one that had definitely transpired some years prior, and two others that happened a couple of years after hers. In addition, she was certain of another woman who had been impregnated twice by the man before her.
In her writing, Suleyman explored several themes from motherhood and abortion to manipulation and depression. All the women sharing their stories with Suleyman were in their early to mid-30s, which made her speculate if the man was intentionally dating women likely to conceive.
Steered by legal caution, Suleyman didn’t presume the man’s motives, though she did ponder the repeated instances of unwanted pregnancies that could have easily been prevented. The idea for a book thus emerged from these unexpected circumstances.
The revelation of the sheer number of affected women and the excitement of their discovery led to discussions about him. They began pondering strategies to expose him and protect other women. The idea of writing an article arose and naturally, as the writer of the group with direct connections, it was decided that she would be the one to pen it.
What was initially meant as an in-depth commentary on their personal experiences soon evolved. As she began writing and interviewing women, delving into conversations with his friends, it quickly became clear that the issues were way deeper. There were broader societal concerns that needed to be addressed.
The center of the textual framework was the relationship between Suleyman and the man, along with his myriad interactions with other women. She also touched upon various modes through which vulnerable women, like herself, could be victimised. Topics covered in her writing encapsulated relationships, feelings towards maternity and termination of pregnancy, trust, loss, menstrual cycles, depression, alcoholism, manipulation, and coercion – transmitting the view that these issues reflected a societal crisis.
When asked how many women she interviewed for the book, she couldn’t exactly recall. “There were around 10 I believe, but I don’t have a physical copy of the book with me to verify. The willingness and availability of some varied yet, their stories mostly echoed each other. Many more were acquainted or befriended”, she mentioned.
Having this man’s identity previously publicly disclosed on social networks, the question arises: is he aware of a forthcoming book centered on him? Suleyman responded, “I’m unsure whether he’s privy to the publication. Perhaps, provided he’s been monitoring my online presence.” Her social media was being actively used to promote her work. She further expressed that she wished him to cease his damaging actions.
She had referenced in her book that he was now wedded. Is she certain that he is persisting in his harmful patterns – recklessly leaving partners, committing theft from them, deserting them during gestation periods? She did not confirm.
She admits to uncertainty about his present actions, with only presumptions being her guide. She harbours hope that he has relinquished his past behaviours. Discussion are underway with Suleyman regarding the transformation of her autobiography into a television series. Her book, ‘The Chain’, is sure to stir conversation for an array of reasons. It will be released by Weidenfeld & Nicolson on the 28th of March.