It has become apparent to me that the longer your experience as a parent, the lower your patience becomes for some of the absurdities that accompany the role. Prime examples include the occasionally toxic culture of competitive parenting, or hearing assertions that a baby sleeping through the night is commonplace, that childbirth is on par with menstrual cramps, or that a Bounty chocolate bar can contribute to your recommended daily fruit and vegetable intake.
Moreover, consider the false importance placed on homework, a constant headache for children that we continue to support, despite scant evidence of its benefits for primary school students in particular. The hope that someone will eventually correct this misguided priority, and free us from the homework-induced torment, persists. Meanwhile, newspaper columnists remain our fallback option.
Furthermore, formal, restrictive school uniforms that discourage active play and pose challenges for children with sensory issues also beg the question. Additionally, school regulations often contradict the advice we give to parents of teenagers about choosing battles wisely – is it worth arguing over hairstyles, for instance?
The accumulation of parenting experience doesn’t necessarily transform you into a grumpy character à la Victor Meldrew at the school gate. However “I cannot believe it” might, indeed, become a frequently used phrase in your dictionary. Realising adulthood finally makes you abandon some lingering student-like tendencies, while simultaneously acknowledging that some nonsensical rules from your adolescence continue to baffle.
As we commence another school year, we find ourselves facing a nationwide shortage of teachers. At the same time, parents of children with additional needs resort to protesting outside the Department of Education to voice their concerns about the dearth of suitable schooling options. Amid all these, a new rule regarding smartphones for secondary-school students is on the horizon.
Education Minister Norma Foley has recently disclosed intentions for disallowing the use of mobile phones in UK secondary schools. A poignant reminder for those who recall the unresolved 2017 Department of Education circular that took aim at the burdens of overpriced, emblem-laden school uniforms and insistence on specific brands for technology. Even so, despite the undesirable uniform costs and brand-limited tech, these continue to burden parents nationwide.
In a similar move, Health Minister Stephen Donnelly has floated the idea of restricting under 16s from social media platforms.
So, what’s the plan here?
On the surface, there’s a longing amongst many for a pre-smartphone and social media period for their children. I’ve even heard teenagers themselves express frustration at the encroachment of technology into their lives, through work experiences. However, they would only be content without these devices and platforms if everyone else abstained as well and therein lies the issue.
The problem is solidly present and can’t be ignored. This generation, inherent digital users, are far more adept at technology than their parents. If you think your teenager isn’t superior to you in this field, they probably are, you’re just not aware.
While we feel strongly about combating the negatives of social media and excessive virtual engagement harming our children, we can’t ignore that this is the new reality. Our children will persist in a digital environment, constantly facing false narratives of beauty, misinformation, disinformation, and images that exploit their insecurities beyond the age of 16 unless we hold social media firms accountable. It is important to equip them with the tools needed to exist in this world, a significant challenge when numerous adults fail to cope.
Teaching young people the importance of utilising mobile devices judiciously, and setting explicit boundaries, might be more potent than outrightly prohibiting them. This approach, when correctly implemented, could receive more support from parents, particularly those whose children suffer from health issues, anxiety, or school bullying, as completely cutting off phone access may not sit well with them.
However, we should not be obtuse. Adolescents will undoubtedly realise the benefits they’re being deprived of and they’ll device a means to overcome the restriction. The question then is, what would the repercussions of this rebellion be?