The manner in which weddings are celebrated has undergone significant shifts, not only in terms of budgets but also the growing inclination towards ceremonies that are spiritually meaningful but not tied to a specific religion.
In the year 1994, over 90 per cent of matrimonial rituals took place within the precincts of Catholic Churches. By 2023, however, the scene had changed drastically with only 35 per cent (7,256) of the total weddings conducted being Catholic ones and around 32 per cent (6,808) opting for civil marriages, based on records from the CSO.
In a counterintuitive trend, about 60 per cent of heterosexual nuptials in 2023 retained a religious aspect. This included minor Christian denominations and global religions, but interestingly around 16 per cent of these religious ceremonies were actually personalised spiritual expressions, indicative of the decrease in institutionalised religious norms. About a third of marriages between same-sex partners also conformed to religious rites.
The dwindling popularity of Catholic wedding ceremonies is predictable, considering the church’s stained reputation following years of controversy and Ireland’s steady progress towards secularism. Opting for a Catholic ceremony to please family members is losing prevalence as people prefer to be true to their beliefs; Irish law recognises civil, religious, and secular ceremonies (mainly overseen by the Humanist Association of Ireland) as legal, as long as they satisfy specific legal requisites and are supervised by a state-licensed solemniser.
A primary reason for many opting for spiritualist wedding rites is interesting to analyse.
While secular groups like humanists need to fulfil certain criteria to be acknowledged, such as a membership of over 50 and an existence for a minimum of five years, religious bodies – defined as “an organised group of people who regularly come together for common religious worship”, are exempt from such obligatory conditions.
The term ‘religion’ for such unconventional religious solemnisers is quite inclusive, encompassing pagans, witches, druids and even recently established religious groups.
Karen Dempsey, renowned as the Bald Priestess, initiated Entheos during the 2020 lockdown. She presented it to the Office of the Registrar General as a religion embracing all, devoid of denominational restraints. The association currently has 81 celebrants and undertook 237 wedding ceremonies in 2023, just under the 242 weddings held by the Church of Ireland. Entheos perceives itself as a pro-active combatant against heteronormativity and ceremonial prejudices, focusing mainly on individuals discarded or overlooked by customary religious paths.
In terms of same-sex wedding practices, the Spiritualist Union of Ireland comes second only to the Catholic Church, undertaking 1,674 ceremonies or 7.9% of all marriages. They emphasise on communicating with spirits, even suggesting having them at ceremonies, though they have lessened this feature. Majority opting for this service don’t necessarily subscribe to the spiritualist beliefs but instead utilise their services for personalised wedding arrangements. Statutorily, neither secular nor civil weddings can make religious mentions, indicating some prevailing desire for spiritual rituals.
In addition to the desire for personalised spirituality, celebrating weddings is also seen as a lucrative revenue source for venues like hotels. Offering full- service package including ceremony and reception is a great profit booster. In 2022, the average wedding cost was €36,000, a massive portion of which was spent at the venue.
The growing trend of customised weddings poses a threat to traditional religions like Catholicism, especially if their approach to spiritual seeking is viewed as incompetent.
Numerous studies have highlighted the benefits of spirituality and religion, but indicating these benefits are more pronounced for participating community members with traditional commitments as opposed to those with personalised spiritual beliefs. The central religious bodies have been unsuccessful in promoting this notion. Some American dioceses now offer Catholic weddings, excluding mass, in places beyond traditional church venues. I have covered this topic extensively in a paper for the Iona Institute, where I serve as a patron.
Nonetheless, churches should resist the temptation to compete with the individualistic spiritual preferences of couples.
The perception of the Catholic Church towards marriage goes beyond a personal promise between two individuals. It is rather a profound sacrament that echoes Christ’s love for the church, evident to and endorsed by a religious community. As long as couples accept alternate spiritual paths with understanding, the church’s priority should be to express self-assurance in its offerings and deliver its message effectively.