The television industry abounds with narratives featuring celebrities stranded in inhospitable climes, providing amusing spectacle for viewers. Observing the challenges faced by these personages, particularly the struggle to procure sustenance and erect lodgings amidst creepy critters, often adds to the viewers’ amusement. Watching these famed individuals deteriorate slowly from their usual lux-riddled lifestyles provides quite the entertainment.
However, in the case of Phillip Schofield, a former ITV host and the star of the current series of Cast Away on Channel 5 in the UK, the undoing occurred outside the realm of television. Schofield, once a presenter on This Morning (the equivalent of Ireland AM in the UK), experienced professional decline in 2023. This was a result of a self-confessed liaison with a junior colleague – a matter that greatly exceeded his age by three decades.
He confessed that it was injudicious of him to enter into such a relationship, he held homophobia responsible for the ensuing uproar, arguing that the scandal wouldn’t have been as significant if it was a heterosexual relationship. A year and a half later, he is back on TV. However, instead of finding peace, he is still grappling with his perceived unfair treatment. He reveals, “I feel downcast. I’m hoping that this profound isolation might liberate me.”
Cast Away resembles a more severe version of “I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here”. For ten days, Schofield is to inhabit an uninhabited island off the coast of Madagascar in the Indian Ocean. Other than a few remote cameras, he will be the sole inhabitant, confronting oblivion head on. On the bright side, pretentious laughter at Ant and Dec’s humor, a recurrent burden on the contestants of I’m a Celeb, will not be one of his worries.
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Regrettably, the audience shows little interest in Schofield’s survival attempts amidst nature. His attempts to build a shelter, catch crabs or fish are seen as mere distractions. What hooks the viewers is his possible tirades against ITV and discussions about his strained relationship with Holly Willoughby, his ex-co-host on This Morning.
Sadly, he does not confront these issues head-on. Channel 5 appears to be saving the juicy details for subsequent episodes, prioritising viewer ratings. Strikingly, there is no direct mention of Willoughby in the first episode, although some veiled jabs can be spotted.
Schofield wistfully comments on missing aspects of his TV presence, but also points out parts he certainly doesn’t miss, including the character revealing dynamics in the industry.
Schofield’s feelings of betrayal are palpable, and it’s up to the viewers to decide whether he is deserving of their sympathy. However, after watching him languish in self-pity for three-quarters of an hour, viewers may find his self-obsession off-putting and tiresome.
Family members also contribute by sharing supportive remarks about him. His oldest daughter, Molly hopes that the audience will see his commendable side.
However, even with Molly’s endorsement, Schofield comes across as being overly self-centred. The show’s focus is largely on him and his career, rather than how his actions have impacted those close to him.
Though Schofield isn’t the first celebrity to lose their career with a snap of a finger or face cancellation, his continued bitterness and refusal to embrace the solitude of a desert island stands out. While he might feel his resentment is warranted, his transformation from a disgraced star to an irate bore has been less than entertaining.