Back in my adolescence, I recall being egged on by a bunch of lads to pose a rather personal question to a group of girls in close proximity: are you menstruating? The notion was that this should spark a spectacular reaction from them. Contrarily, it was met with confused faces. The girls were oblivious to my question, and at the tender age of ten, I was equally clueless.
The point wasn’t our mutual lack of understanding, but more about provoking the girls, who were intriguing in their mysterious way yet openly objects of criticism. Unjustifiably, girls were perceived as the opposition, a concept that was never clearly explained.
Thankfully, I’ve matured significantly since then. I appreciate the company of women now.
Admittedly, this should be a self-explanatory statement, like expressing my love for breathing or stating my preference for residing indoors. Nonetheless, it demands articulation. It calls for repeated affirmation by countless men. Every day, we come across stories of men who seemingly harbour opposing sentiments.
Misogyny isn’t an inherent trait – it’s a hurdle to be crossed.
Too often, our emotions, be it rage, exasperation or dread, persuade us to seek justifications mirroring our emotional state.
My peers and I were seldom open about mental health, often underestimating or denying the harm caused.
I’m familiar with women who’ve been victims of sexual assault, and you might be too. My spouse and our three adult daughters have all encountered harassment, merely for being women existing publicly. Needless to say, Ireland has a haunting track record of abhorrent offences committed against women.
This brings us to another apparent fact: all men don’t commit sex crimes. However, in specific circles, there’s a spectrum of beliefs that range from latent female antipathy to atrocious actions. A disturbing trend has been noticed on the internet, where this resentment is being actively promoted, primarily among younger men. Victimhood is being thrust upon them, and any shortcomings in their lives are blamed on women. Various surveys have found an increasing number of young males thinking the pursuit of gender equality, or feminism, has overstepped its mark. Some still believe in unequal human rights.
There is an infamous catalogue of individuals and groups fuelling the flames, ranging from obscure political parties thriving on dissatisfaction to the infamous Incel society, adult content sites, and personality figures like Andrew Tate. These, however, only form a minuscule fragment of a broader issue. Neither Ireland, nor anywhere else in the world was ever a haven for women, whether 20 or 50 years ago. Hatred towards women, or misogyny, is as old as human society itself, and pervades every corner of the globe. Its roots extend back thousands of years.
The prevailing objection to feminism is merely another segment in this primitive account: a baseless masculine fear that women will ultimately seek vengeance. Assortments of theories compete to explain this phenomenon: Men might experience inner turmoil due to their reliance on women for reproduction which makes them feel weak, or it might emanate from a deep-seated male cognisance of the unfair treatment faced by women. Historically, women were enslaved to marriages with their male abductors or considered as commodities, traded for land or authority. As late as the 20th century, numerous Irish women found themselves unwillingly in pre-arranged marriages, with third parties deciding their suitable “matches”.
Society’s standards and religious convictions (the concept of a male deity) sanctioned these customs, and in several parts of the world, they endure. The ongoing resistance to feminism is merely an updated episode in this long, age-old saga: a vacuous masculine apprehension that women will at long last, exact their retribution.
Women have ceaselessly asserted their rights and now, the term patriarchy is universally recognised. Yes, women interact with men, befriend them, live alongside them, wed them, and love them. Seated within this is an intrinsic conviction that despite all, men are worthy of love. Misogyny is not a built-in trait, it is a hurdle to be overcome by reciprocating women’s love.