For those pondering, Love Island, broadcasted on Virgin Media Two at 9pm, is still ongoing, with little modification. This ITV-sponsored spectacle of pretentious tanning and tattoos, played out on Irish Virgin Media, maintains its tradition of shipping bikini-clad contestants with conspicuous tattoos to Mallorca, where they engage in a cycle of flirting, arguing, and peppering their conversation with phrases like “the ick” and “graft”. In an unpredictable world, it is a constant, sun-kissed symbol of steadiness.
As the 11th season begins, ITV has made minimal alterations. The villa has undergone minor refurbishment; its colours appear more vibrant than before, and a new snug hot tub has been strategically added to the basement.
However, replacing host Maya Jama is still adjusting to her new role. The unshakeable link to the late Caroline Flack will always loom over the series, and for Irish audiences, the participation of Laura Whitmore from County Wicklow added an extra incentive to watch.
Jama, Whitmore’s successor from last year, introduces a fresh dynamic by being of similar age to the contestants. Nonetheless, she has not managed to fully dominate the franchise yet, appearing as a marginal figure in an uninspiring first episode. In this episode, six male and six female contestants pair up after grading each other based on their potential as partners.
Despite the hot weather, the overall mood is rather gloomy and not even the unexpected appearance of Joey Essex, who has some level of fame from The Only Way Is Essex, can lift the spirits. He is the first-ever “celebrity” contestant on the Island, and the other contestants are star-struck when he strolls in, referring to himself as the “king of Essex.”
Regrettably, his appearance is more like a letdown than a sensation, and the episode feels lifeless from beginning to end. This is despite the tireless contributions of Iain Stirling, the witty narrator (also Laura Whitmore’s spouse), who paints humourous comparisons of the pristine Mediterranean to a rubbish-ridden ocean.
As it drags it’s feet forward, it’s clear this episode lacks any real talking points. We learn that Patsy Field, an office assistant, shares a bed with her mother due to a housing crisis – a detail easily forgotten amid the confusion of distinguishing between Ciaran Davies, a bearded and mulleted surveyor from Wales, and Sam Taylor, a similarly styled barber from Chesterfield.
[Maura Higgins: ‘I absolutely despised it. Besides that massage, everything else can just bugger off’]
The influence Love Island has had on the careers of several Irish participants is undeniably substantial – Maura Higgins and Yewande Biala, for instance, both had their initial stepping stone to fame through the show.
Sean Jenkins, an ambitious actor hailing from Dublin but living in Malta, represents Ireland in 2024. He will be discreetly introduced in the coming days as a surprise contestant, expected to establish a relationship with one of the already coupled individuals, similar to Joey Essex. The silver lining is that he won’t require much to distinguish himself from this year’s sea of clone-like Islanders, for committed viewers, a titanic struggle inevitably lies ahead.