Although I’ve frequently found myself tearful in airports, it’s at Dublin Terminal One where I often found myself welling up. The scene was familiar – sat alone in my secret corner, the packet of Taytos between my fingers serving as a symbol of home whilst I prepared to board my flight to London.
The reason for my tears was always unclear. Nobody dictated that London would be my forever home. I could have packed up and headed back to Sligo, Galway or Dublin, where I had previously resided at various points throughout the first three decades of my life, at any given moment.
I initially made the move to London for a six-month period – a temporary stop on my global travels to earn some cash before continuing the journey. The plan was to return to where I’d come from, Dublin, Galway or Sligo, and settle into my life equivalent to a working journalist. That notion was 24 years prior to this day.
London remains my home, I deduced my permanency when I installed several shelves intended for my cherished books.
In the earlier years of my London life, I felt an impactful release on landing in Dublin – it was a small comfort knowing I was home even just for a short while, where people understood me. I didn’t have to explain the meaning of ‘press’ when referring to a cupboard, or that messages was another term for groceries bought at Tesco. No one would bat an eye if I said I was drinking a ‘mineral’, and statements like “I will, yeah”, were understood with no expectation of action. Expressions like ‘fierce’ did not perturb people, likewise ‘giving out’ was not misunderstood as a flirtatious phrase.
Presently, a physical office isn’t needed for work so I could relocate anywhere. Yet, the hustle and bustle of London life still appeals to me. I relish the accessibility of the art galleries, parks, and shops especially those located on Kensington High Street. Buckingham Palace is just a routine part of my commute to work, an everyday marvel.
Like me, people from my circle were attracted to the prospect of life in London. Fiona Kilkelly, a friend from Galway, also moved over when she fell for an Englishman and decided to marry.
Originally, Colette O’Leary aimed to spend merely the summer of 2001 in London for a thrilling getaway. As an accordion player raised in Dublin but born in Kerry, she soon got swept into the vibrant Irish music culture found in London. She relishes the constant influx of new faces and the numerous professional opportunities presented to her by the city as a musician. Even though she frequently visits Ireland, she sees no plans to relocate any time soon.
Once upon a time, she envisioned only living in London for a few years, having children and then moving back to Ireland. But as her children began their school years, it became more challenging to think about leaving. Additionally, a multitude of fresh and appealing job prospects emerged. Over two decades later, her children are now university students and she is the current professor for Creative Industries at London’s Royal Holloway University.
However, it’s worth noting that the Irish community in Britain has been on a steady decline for years. During the 1960s and 1970s when Irish emigration was at its height, the Irish population in Britain was almost a million. Now, it has dwindled to half a million, decreasing progressively since the 1990s, from 800,000 in 1991, 700,000 in 2001, and 600,000 in 2011 to a little over 500,000 nowadays.
In the past, many left Ireland due to a lack of jobs and dismal future prospects. There were also more sinister factors that drove many away, all under the firm grip of the Catholic Church and the conservative right. Today, job scarcity isn’t the problem, but a lack of housing is a significant issue. The new Irish emigrants settling in Britain also bring a varied dynamic, as Brian Dalton, an emigrant from Waterford to London in 1987 and the present-day CEO of the Irish in Britain organisation, aptly points out.
The group arriving following the economic downturn of 2008 are somewhat different from their predecessors, presenting themselves as global-minded, learned, and adaptable. They anticipate fair treatment, they demand just remuneration for their skills, they are self-assured and can clearly state their desires and expectations. They have no qualms about their self-definition, states he.
Their interaction with Ireland differs, just as their ties with Britain do. They don’t abandon Ireland like we did in the 1980s, in the era dominated by ecclesiastics.
Today’s Irish youth have the facility to visit their homes for a brief weekend break and return to their work by Monday. Colum Mackey, who migrated from Burren, Co Down, in 2017 at the young age of 25, recognises London as a second home. He declares,”London, to me, feels just as homely as Burren.”
However, that doesn’t imply that Ireland doesn’t remain an integral part of his London life.
He admits, “My connection with my Irish heritage is even more profound here. I recently took part in the St Patrick’s Day march – I wouldn’t have considered doing something like that in my homeland. With people who share a similar cultural background, it’s pleasant to spend time; the shared cultural references make conversations and humour much more relatable than when speaking with people of different origins.”
However, there are distinctive differences in the experiences of the current generation. They’re not out pounding the pavements of London’s construction sector for ‘the start’ or tucked away in Kilburn’s public houses, consuming the obligatory pints which were once a requirement just to cash your paycheck.
Dalton was a member of that previous group of Irish migrants, labouring and working in pubs throughout the latter part of the 1980s. He subsequently enrolled in an Irish Studies and English course at North London Polytechnic. Despite many of his peers returning to Ireland during the period of rapid economic growth known as the Celtic Tiger, Dalton opted to stay settled.
Matthew Bookle, an Irish migrant who relocated to London in the early ’90s, reflected on his decision to emigrate and his eventual return to his homeland. Bookle, who was driven away from Ireland primarily due to professional and personal constraints, found a renewed sense of freedom and motivation as he set foot in the British capital. Despite his mixed feelings of disappointment and pride towards his homeland, he managed to still identify with his Irish roots.
After spending two decades in London, where he first commenced work with housing and homelessness charities before qualifying as a social worker, he felt a pull towards his native Ireland. Despite developing strong ties in the social circles of London and benefiting from the city’s rich culture and attractions, Matthew and his partner decided to return to their home country once they felt they weren’t fully utilising the city’s resources.
He expressed a deep longing for the vast open spaces reminiscent of Ireland, coupled with the desire to start a family, and decided his life’s next chapter would be better lived in the scenic Irish countryside. He highlighted how memories and connections significant to certain people and places hugely influence the decision to return home.
Similarly, television executive Helen O’Rahilly also moved back to Dublin after a three-decade-long stint in London, where she cherished her multicultural surroundings and revelled in its size and vibrancy. Despite her initial assumption that the British capital would be her permanent home, she found herself yearning to be closer to her family. Her experience is a clear testament that the pull of home, whether nearby or miles away, remains potent.
When my mother began to suffer from Alzheimer’s, everything shifted. The frequency of our visits increased and during one such trip, I realised her situation was dire. The decision I took after a wakeful night was purely driven by love. It led me to my home, resonating deeply within me. Should I consider returning?
This nostalgia for one’s home is emotively depicted in the forthcoming film, ‘That They May Face the Rising Sun’, directed by Pat Collins. Based on John McGahern’s 2002 novel, the film releases this weekend. It narrates the lives of Joe and Kate Ruttledge who decide to leave London and return to west Ireland, where Joe was originally from. The film covers a year in the local community and illuminates perspectives on emigration – the departures and the returns.
McGahern articulated the essence of being an Irish expatriate in the opening pages of the novel, a sentiment that has resonated with me for over two decades.
Joe, while house hunting in Ireland, is asked, “What is your issue with England?”
He replies, “Nothing, except it’s not my homeland. I never feel completely connected or that my life there is authentic. It’s akin to being there but part of you is happily elsewhere.”
His words echo my feelings as I oscillate between two nations, never feeling a complete sense of belonging.
Likely, McGahern experienced similar sentiments as he globe-hopped. After publishing his first novel, ‘The Barracks’, in 1963, he was awarded a travelling fellowship which enabled him to leave his teaching job. He met Finnish theatre director Annikki Laaksi in Paris and post their marriage, they resided in Finland, London, and Spain, before returning to Dublin. McGahern intended to resume his teaching career, but after his second novel, ‘The Dark’, was banned due to allegations of sexual abuse content in 1965, he lost his teaching job.
A Union official informed him: “Perhaps, just perhaps, we would have been able to intervene if the issue was alone about the book. Nonetheless, marrying a foreigner makes your case hopeless, altogether.”
I had to leave and return to truly become a “Derry lass.” That unfriendly attitude towards outsiders has often marred Ireland’s national image, conflicting heavily with the widely held belief of Ireland being the land of a hundred thousand hospitable welcomes. In the film, the local denizens regarded the characters Joe and Kate with wariness due to their close relationship and the care they showed their pets, along with their craving for tranquillity. Patrick Ryan, their neighbour, was incredulously questioning this fondness for quiet.
The narrative unfolds in County Leitrim, the birthplace of McGahern who, similar to Joe and Kate, acquired a small farm there with his second spouse, Madeline. Vivid shots of Lough Na Fooey in Connemara, with its endless landscapes, expansive skies, and winding country roads, were poignant enough to induce tears, especially when I was watching the film amidst the grey structures of Piccadilly at the London Film Festival.
Although the location is breathtaking and the pace of life is unhurried, it is far from a blissful haven. Offences are swiftly committed and taken, gossip is rampant, and the friendly smiles can disappear just as quickly as they appear.
A warm reception, potent beverages, and generous food platters are rolled out for Johnny Murphy every summer, however, when he loses his job in Dagenham and wishes to return permanently, his brother and sister-in-law refuse to accommodate him. Such a heartbreaking tale is sadly too common.
Johnny refers to the Brits as methodical, emphasizing that they function on a set protocol, almost like sorting in alphabetical order. Similarly, I perceive the English as fairly organised, being less impulsive and more analytic, opting for well-thought-out strategies over relying on St Anthony.
In my own journey, it seems I’ve completed a full circle, an integral aspect of maturation. Through this process, I’ve resolved numerous internal conflicts regarding my personal identity – Brian Dalton, an Irishman residing in Britain.
Generally, the English seem to have a favourable view of the Irish and I can affirm this having resided in England for many years now. Yet, my sentiments toward them, formed by years of listening to The Wolfe Tones’ “The Men Behind the Wire” and chants of “God’s curse on you England, you cruel-hearted monster,” can be, at times, uncertain.
Despite that, England is where I call home. Continuously, I praise Ireland in my conversations and appreciatively, my friends never question why I decided to leave, if it was as incredible as I portray it to be.
I found myself journeying to Boston to lay my Auntie Mary to rest earlier this year who lived up to the age of 84. The eldest in our kin and a native of Sligo, she migrated to the US at a tender age of 16. In her Boston residence of Dorchester, she held Ireland close at heart in the form of an indoor tribute comprising of Irish lace draperies, ceramic cottages mimicking those with straw roofs and Irish flags. Despite the distance, she lived her life with pleasure and passed on in the presence of her own lineage. One can’t help but wonder if her life would have been more fulfilling if she decided to return or even never departed in the first place.
The diverse tales of Irish expatriates have been captured in a recently inaugurated exhibition by the Irish in Britain community, marking half a century since its inception. The exhibit named, ‘Look Back to Look Forward: 50 Years of the Irish in Britain’ currently located at EPIC, the Irish Emigration Museum, in Dublin after touring London, Liverpool, Leeds and Birmingham. On display are numerous narratives from a mixture of Irish perspectives; those of the first, second and third generations.
Dalton found the Heritage project valuable as it enabled him to introspect on his personal experiences. Even though he left Ireland, feeling as though it let him down, he acknowledges the paradox in directing the Irish in Britain group. “My journey has come full circle, which is likely a part of maturity. I’ve managed to reconcile many facets of my identity,” he explains.
Similarly, Fiona Kilkelly, whilst working on several Irish initiatives in Britain’s digital creative industries, feels she is drawing closer to Ireland as well. Increased collaboration between the UK and Ireland has opened up more opportunities for her to potentially live on either side of the sea.
Living overseas has given Colette O’Leary the advantage of seeing her Irish kith and kin more often than before. She frequents the Emerald Isle, taking the opportunity to spend quality time catching up with loved ones.
Perhaps my inquiries regarding returning are in some way associated with the occurrence of last year, where I encountered a gentleman from Limerick, dwelling in Clare. Possibly, the statement made by Helen O’Rahilly holds some validity. It’s love that guides us back to our roots.