In my recent flying experience, a particular traveller was doing all in his power to become most disliked by the flight crew, unintentionally forfeiting any chance of enjoying the rewards of ingratiating himself with the cabin staff.
As echoed by numerous flight attendants on my podcast, The Bad Air Hostess, one should not undervalue these favours — additional blankets, a complimentary glass of champagne from first class, possibly an amenity kit equipped with an eye mask if you play your cards right. Your flight’s level of comfort is often in the hands of the cabin crew, indeed.
You may want to jot this down, as these are the cardinal sins that drive flight attendants up the wall:
1) Galley yoga
The culprits are typically white females in their 30s, kitted in Lululemon yoga gear and holding trendy Stanley cups for hydration. I’m at a loss to sufficiently articulate the aggravation these individuals cause. To use a metaphor, it’d be like me parading my spandex-clad rear in your face whilst you’re trying to work. It goes without saying; that’s a no-go.
2) Galley chat
I once had a mate relate their tale of popping into the galley for a natter with the staff, boasting about how much the crew adored their company. I didn’t relish ruining this misguided illusion but it was a necessity for the sanity of all. I burst his bubble; let me just tell you, darling, the crew do not love you. They just tolerate you and are too polite to shoehorn you back to your seat. After playing the graceful Geisha for 12 long hours, those fleeting moments with a cuppa and a sit-down with Hello! magazine are precious. We certainly aren’t seeking company. We’re doing just fine on our own. I assure you, I’ve heard all the aviation tales known to man. So spare us.
Which provides a seamless transition to the next gripe…
The following passage highlights the complaints of Paula Gahan, a cabin crew member working for an international airline based in London, who hails originally from Kildare. Gahan, who also hosts her own podcast on Apple and Spotify, named ‘The Bad Air Hostess’, talks about some irritating behaviour patterns of airline passengers.
Firstly, she addresses the common statement she hears from older male passengers, that they likely travel more frequently than she does. As an air hostess, she shoots this notion down, highlighting that she probably racks up far more air miles, unless these passengers are also undertaking several flights within a single day, just like she does.
Next, she highlights the peculiar behaviour many people exhibit as passengers on aircrafts – helping themselves to any unattended food. Describing it as an ‘unwritten rule’ among passengers that if food is visibly left unattended in the galley, it is something they can help themselves to, no matter who it belongs to. Gahan reveals she once had a bag of chocolates swiped during her own flight back from San Francisco, by a rather audacious woman, and stresses that even the airline crew need to eat!
Thirdly, she talks about an annoying trait of some individuals, who believe they are more important than the rest and the rules don’t apply to them. This belief manifests in behaviours like immediately disposing of meal trays in the galley, thinking they’re helping, but they are instead causing congestion and delaying the clearing process for others.
To be in the cabin crew’s good books and perhaps enjoy some special treatment onboard, Gahan suggests passengers could show consideration for the crew by buying them a box of their preferred chocolates – Lindt balls or Ferrero Rocher – from the duty-free store.