Located on the outskirts of Yunnan and Sichuan provinces in the southwest of China, the village of Walabi hosts houses constructed in a quadrangular pattern, with one quadrangle being particularly distinctive due to the flag atop its roof. This designates the matriarch’s residence, the linchpin of the extended familial structure, where familial connections are routed unilaterally through the mother’s lineage.
A key segment of the remaining matrilineal societies, the Mosuo people, have made this village their home for well over a millennium. Property ownership and child rearing are components exclusively attributed to the matriarch’s family within this society.
“As we converse in the courtyard at the heart of the village, Yang Chenglong discloses, “Among the 97 households that constitute over 460 residents in our village, merely a handful deviate from the matrilineal structure,” post our indulgence in a lunch of succulent barbecued pork and a medley of vegetables.
The Mosuo population, approximately 50,000 in strength, predominantly resides in communities akin to Walabi. The sustenance of the region is majorly driven by agriculture. Although Lake Lugu, situated roughly 45km away, magnetises a significant footfall of tourists, Walabi doesn’t share the same appeal, as informed by Yang.
Yang, known familiarly as A Qi Ni Ma Ci Er within his Mosuo community, has memories enveloped within his grandmother’s familial structure, where his mother was one out of six sisters. The family was already composed of 14 members at the time of his birth and continued to expand as he aged.
“My mother is the mother of two sons, myself and my brother. Among my aunts, the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth each bore three offsprings. Owing to the surplus of aunts, our family was blessed with an abundance of matriarchs and children alike.”
Of great importance to their familial structure is an atypical marriage arrangement known as the “walking marriage”. The arrangement is unique and flexible, entirely based on the mutual agreement between a man and a woman. Under the arrangement, the woman can invite a man to spend a night at her home, however, he must return to his respective dwelling following the morning sun.
Cao Jianping, the head of a Mosuo culture propagating organisation and retired schoolteacher, elaborates on the intimate dynamics of the Mosuo ‘walking marriage’ tradition. If couples live proximate to each other, it is typical for the male to visit the female’s home nightly, sharing family time or retreating to her room before heading home the next morning. But the distance can lead the couple to spend more time together, like Jianping’s uncle who would regularly travel 12km on horseback to see his partner. During farming season, the uncle would reside with his partner temporarily.
A unique aspect of the ‘walking marriage’ is that the children are raised in the mother’s home, while the father lives with his birth family. The mother’s household, including the supportive uncle, are primarily responsible for the child’s wellbeing.
“The mother typically manages the finances, while the uncle earns to run the household,” Jianping states. The uncle’s obligations are substantial since he cares for his siblings and their children, and his own from different families and also aids his ‘walking marriage’ family depending on the situation.
‘Marriage by walking’ doesn’t prescribe relationship duration or exclusivity. Couples usually live apart, meeting only when mutually decided. “The decision if the man or woman will see other people concurrently is guided by their sentiments,” says Jianping, adding that in the past, the termination of the ‘walking marriage’ was straightforward due to the absence of legal marriage bindings. Either partner could express their desire for separation, and the man would cease visiting the woman’s house. The dissolution could also happen unexpectedly if the man committed a grave mistake.
During the 1970s, the Communist Party set forth a movement, attempting to influence the Mosuo community to move away from their conventional large matrilineal households towards the more traditionally recognised nuclear family. Under this change, couples were forced to formally register their relationships with the state.
Initially, the campaign had some influence, prompting some larger families to disband as couples settled together. However, while most Mosuo now obtain a marriage certificate, they continue to inhabit separate dwellings.
“We continue to practice our walking marriage tradition, and ownership of property remains within our own families. If for instance, I am a woman, my possessions still go back to my mother’s lineage,” Cao explains.
Cao further adds, “Both individuals in a relationship continue to belong to their families. The ownership of their properties is well-defined. In case of relationship issues leading to a separation among Mosuo individuals,.there is no room for any complex disputes over property or child maintenance.”
“Our familial framework might appear outdated to some, but as Mosuo individuals, we view our arrangement as more adaptive and liberating,” asserts Yang Chenglong.
Residing in this region, people are at liberty to choose any familial structure that suits them. The traditional large matrilineal families have always been in a harmonious existence with smaller ones. Cao’s survey in one village unveiled that about 70% of the population there preferred a walking marriage.
Even for those Mosuo living outside their native villages, the walking marriage system is often perceived as an optimal selection. Cao recounts the story of a married young couple, both employees at a hotel away from their home villages.
“In Mosuo culture, there is no idea of combined property,” Cao states. “Each person used their own earnings to care for their family. The arrangement came very naturally to this young couple, as well as their mothers. The girl’s mother did not have any expectations of her son-in-law giving her part of his income, and similarly, the boy’s mother felt no need for her daughter-in-law to contribute financially.”
In recounting his childhood, Yang mentions that his oldest aunt moved out of their home to manage the household of her walking marriage partner that had no women. When his grandmother passed, his fourth-oldest aunt was selected as the new family head, considering her sisters viewed her disposition as the most appropriate for the position.
With the number of household members exceeding 60, some family segments decided to create new households, while preserving the matrilineal framework. Yang holds the view that the flexible nature of Mosuo customs is a key factor in their ongoing survival and success.
“Many might see our family structure as regressive, but we, the Mosuo, see it to be more adaptable and liberating. Adjustments can be made based on the evolution of familial needs. Deciding to live separately or with siblings is determined by what the family requires,” Yang expressed.
Following ancient folklore and lessons imparted by older generations is a primary aspect of the Mosuo culture. The teachings don’t restrict actions but rather encourage unity and harmony. This basis allows a variety in family structures, as long it is beneficial to the family’s growth.
Yang, after studying agriculture, forestry and economic management, went back to Walabi to farm and manage the family’s handicraft workshop. His mother crafts scarves, shawls, and different clothing items from cotton and wool which they sell digitally and through a store in Lijiang, a place roughly four hours by car.
Similarly to other Mosuo, Yang has the freedom to choose his family structure, despite his preference leaning towards walking marriages.
“Should you partake in a walking marriage, your life won’t change drastically. But if you get married traditionally, many things change, like moving into a new residence and adjusting to changes,” Yang shares.
“Different family structures necessitate varying marriage models to support them. We, the Mosuo, hold ourselves to high moral standards; it’s a part of our culture. In the Mosuo community, we have highly flexible marriage traditions and it’s wrong to judge our model solely using urban standards. Our environment is different hence our approaches are unique too.”
Women in this system do not feel less important. They understand their roles in the family, free from discrimination. In this society, men and women are viewed as equals.
While the Mosuo tribe is characterised by a matrilineal family set-up, it isn’t necessarily a matriarchal society. Cao and Yang argue that the perception of women being superior to men is a misconception held by those outside the community. Gender equality is a cornerstone of the tribe – a trait not seen often in the history of China, a nation that regarded women as commodities for numerous centuries. These perceptions prevailed through to the communist revolution, which formally acknowledged gender equality, but in reality, gender differences persisted, illustrated by the all-male Politburo.
In Cao’s perspective, the ‘walking marriage’ system entails several benefits for women. Chief amongst them is that it injects a sense of self-worth and a firm understanding of their position in the family structure. The system avoids discrimination against women, ensuring parity between the sexes. When reaching womanhood, ladies gain the autonomy to select their relationship and maintain ownership of their property plus inheritance rights. With these factors in place, women’s rights and well-being are effectively safeguarded, leading to a harmonious existence.
The state ceased attempting to modify the Mosuo’s lifestyle long ago, and instead started to encourage the tribe to embrace its unique culture. As an advocate for Mosuo culture domestically and abroad, Cao is optimistic about the deepening confidence the tribe is showing in expressing its customs.
Cao reflects that they initially were quite insular and unconcerned with external perceptions. However, with the advent of tourism and external interactions, they realised their culture intrigued outsiders but was widely misunderstood. They now hope to ensure that their culture is accurately portrayed, and regard their distinct ‘walking marriage’ approach as something to be celebrated, not stigmatised.
Yang routinely invites ethnographical researchers from Yunnan University to Walabi to study the Mosuo lifestyle. Part of his property serves as an exhibition space, showcasing critical aspects of the community’s history, culture, and customs.
In Yang’s opinion, one of the tribe’s most admirable aspects is the adaptability of its traditional customs. The Mosuo community’s customs are flexible, accommodating a variety of environments.
In my opinion, our lifestyle surpasses others. The minimum we can say is that we have a community free from loneliness amongst the elderly, devoid of orphans and a harmonious place for siblings to reside together.
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