1. What’s the reason?
© MrsMinifig Flickr heartaches
© MrsMinifig (Flickr)
The first thing you need to do to bring back your love is determine the reason for the break up. You have to find the problems leading to your separation to be able to make the relationship work again.
2. Give your husband space
© Sujit Mahapatra Bangles
© Sujit Mahapatra
You both need to get over the initial stages of the breakup. This is the most important of all ways to save a marriage. The space will give both of you time to get over the mixed feelings and work out your own individual problems.
3. Don’t play the blame game
© Paul Retherford exchange of wedding ring bride groom
© Paul Retherford
The worst thing that you can do is play the blame game. Even if you know that the problem with the marriage is your partner’s fault, don’t tell them that. You’re looking for how to save a relationship and not to make it worse.
4. Be prepared to forgive
© Mykola Velychko wedding II
© Mykola Velychko
If you really want your husband back, you need to be prepared to forgive him for anything that he’s done. So, if you keep screaming "my husband is cheating" because he’s already done it once, you’ll need to stop the thoughts and let trust grow. That’s part of the process of forgiving.
5. Give him time
© Andy Dean Anguish road sign
© Andy Dean
If you’re the one that cheated, you have to give him a chance to work out whether he can forgive you or not.
6. Don’t plead
© slepukhin aleksandr Love
© slepukhin aleksandr
You need to show that you have some self-respect and pleading will show the exact opposite. Don’t beg and plead for your husband to come back to you. He’ll just be turned off.
7. Don’t fake emergencies
© Ed Yourdon Flickr Emergency
© Ed Yourdon (Flickr)
If there is actually an emergency, then call your ex. However, don’t fake any emergencies. Also, don’t spy on your spouse to check whether he’s with someone else – definitely don’t ruin it!
8. Romance your husband
© Waldemar Boniecki rose and gift
© Waldemar Boniecki
You need to remind your husband what he fell in love with. Arrange to meet for drinks with him once you’ve both worked out your individual problems and make sure you look your best. It could be worth going back to the start of dating.
9. Take your time
© Alta.C schwarze rose
© Alta.C
A reconciliation isn’t going to happen overnight. You’ll need to give it time, especially if one of you has to forgive the other.
10. Be prepared to walk away
© Ed Yourdon Flickr Rome visit, June 2008 – 57
© Ed Yourdon (Flickr)
You have to be prepared that sometime, it just won’t work out. No matter how much you love your husband or vice versa, there are times when the relationship will work. Don’t pretend to yourself that it’s working even if it isn’t. There are just times when you can’t forgive your husband, especially a cheating spouse.