TDs demonstrate various responses to a forthcoming election, causing a frenzy among the Healy-Raes. A prominent indication is an obsession over the Labour Party’s leader and her justified ambition to provide adequate bike parking facilities for the numerous individuals cycling to Leinster House for work.
Admittedly, not many commuters living past the Red Cow roundabout utilise cycle power to reach Kildare Street, and pedalling from Healy-Rae’s base in Kerry to the Leaders’ Questions every day would prove a daunting task.
Therefore, Ivana Bacik’s demand, shared by several of her colleagues, for this added infrastructure unmistakably shows that the Dublin’s elite have little consideration for the virtuous inhabitants of rural Ireland. If they did, they would have paved the Leinster House premises – both front and rear – to offer free parking for politicians travelling from the countryside.
Though they’ve done this already, suffice to say it’s inadequate. They should even extend this to Merrion Square considering the competition for spaces every Tuesday at midday when MPs scramble to obtain a meal ahead of the week’s first parliamentary sessions.
The Healy-Raes appear to hold deputy Bacik, representing Dublin Bay South – a lush area where people originally from rural settings congregate, longing they were birthed Protestant, accountable for Ireland’s most renowned bike stand. This modest addition, fitted onto the National Gallery’s side wall came at an astounding cost of €335,000 – a figure that left both coalition and opposition politicians taken aback, given the fact that the project was undertaken by the OPW.
Christened the “Gucci bike shed” by Peadar Tóibín of Aontú, the structure may not accommodate many bikes, but it does indeed lend itself remarkably well as a backdrop for impassioned speeches by Opposition candidates criticising Government extravagance. Furthermore, it will surely serve as an excellent cornerstone for numerous election pamphlets once campaigning kicks off.
The Healy-Rae brothers, Michael and Danny, have been critical of the Labour leader because of her desire for an adequate bike rack on both the Merrion Street and Kildare Street sides of the building. Regardless of the concern that Ivana Bacik brings up in the Dáil, no matter how grave it might seem, if a Healy-Rae is in the building, bicycling comments are likely to abound.
This was the state of affairs on Wednesday as well when, like a red flag baiting a Rural Independent bull, deputy Bacik stood up to speak, with Danny already itching for a showdown. In an earlier Labour motion on health service staffing, the brothers voiced their support for healthcare workers protesting due to staff shortages at University Hospital Kerry. In an unfortunate turn of events, Danny admonished the opposing Minister for Health, Stephen Donnelly, calling him the “weakest link in the Government’s chain”.
This sentiment was heavily backed by his fellow Rural Independent Michael Collins, who stated that the health service situation in west Cork was just as dire as in neighbouring Kerry.
The accusations may have been too much for Stephen Donnelly as he exited the chamber for a while, leading to the soft-spoken Minister of State for Health, Colm Burke, having to step in and assume control. Acting as his stand-in, Fine Gael’s Michael Ring took the Chair and introduced the next speaker, Thomas Pringle from Donegal following which mutterings could be heard from Danny’s corner.
“Where has the Minister disappeared to? Whats the bloody point if…”
Michael attempted to interrupt him, to no avail.
“You’ve had your say, Deputy Healy-Rae. It’s time to step back.”
DHR disagreed.
“I’m enquiring. Where’s he gone?”
“Over there,” declared the Chair, gesturing to the Government seats where bespectacled and focused Colm sat, rendered virtually invisible.
Danny, in a state of great upset, repeatedly questioned someone’s whereabouts. Michael gestured to Colm once more. “He’s right here,” stated Michael. “But he isn’t the Minister,” retorted Danny, growing more upset. The scene was becoming tense. “Yes, he certainly is the Minister. Please, show some respect,” Michael urged Danny, whose frustration continued to spill over. “He is a Minister! Mind your manners!”
Despite further protest from Danny, Michael pointed out towards Colm who sat quietly, and then back to Danny continuing to fume. With commanding authority, Michael told Danny to calm down.
Thomas Pringle was once again invoked, but Danny persisted in his outrage. As a matter of fact, Ivana Bacik could definitely attest to that. Michael implored Danny, his voice shaking, to show respect towards the Minister. Unexpectedly, Michael Collins interjected, “But what of Bere Island and Cape Clear?” Danny, who was mortally offended by now, defiantly proclaimed, “I am always respectful.”
Defending the tranquilly smiling Colm Burke, the Chair repeatedly asserted, “He is a Minister.” This possibly prompted Danny to reassess. Upon reflection, he made clear his stance, “I have no respect for the man who isn’t present today,” although he refrained from mentioning whom he was referring to.
However, as expected, it wasn’t long before the anticipation of the impending election resurfaced among the Healy-Raes. It was Ivana Bacik’s turn to lead the questioning session, and the Healy-Raes could not resist joining the fray. Bacik wished to discuss the issue of staff shortfall in schools which led to the removal of certain subjects from the curriculum in some instances. Much to her shock, untrained staff were appointed to ensure that classes were operational.
The situation was causing distress for students and their families. Meanwhile, inexperienced and newly-qualified teachers were grappling with challenging work conditions and the rising cost of living.
“We require a genuine pledge to tackle these problems. We, at the Labour Party, are proposing a special team to grapple with this emergency. What measures is the Government currently instituting to halt the escalation of teachers departing our educational establishments?”
Michael Healy-Rae, recognising the necessity for constructive action, was swift in his rejoinder.
“She’s no longer seeking a second bike shed.”
This instance saw the Ceann Comhairle presiding over proceedings. “Kindly. Kindly,” he moaned while the Healy-Raes, smirking, were readying themselves.
Ivana lost her cool.
“Just be quiet!”
Such an outburst was uncharacteristic of her. Yet, if yelling “be quiet” at the Healy-Raes was a punishable offence, she would be exonerated based on justification and appropriate conduct.
“She’s abandoned the idea of the second bike shed,” MHR tittered.
A laughing DHR echoed similar sentiments. “She’s not particularly skilled when it comes to construction.”
The Ceann Comhairle expressed his exasperation through a roll of his eyes.
“We’ve had our fill of the Waldorf and Statler.”
His efforts were in vain.
During the Taoiseach’s response, Ivana managed to compose herself.
“A Cheann Comhairle, I regret my choice of words earlier, but I am fed up of enduring insults and criticisms concerning cycling from deputies who seem certain that the weather is under divine control and show no history of treating climate change with the seriousness it deserves. I have no tolerance for such foolishness.”
Danny resumed his tirade. The Ceann Comhairle asked him to cease squabbling.
“But she was referring to me,” he complained.
Just be quiet, won’t you?”