What is your age? What was the price of that? Don’t you desire offspring? How many scores did he achieve? Some individuals harbour an odd sense of privilege to personal information.
There might be a kin, a co-worker, an old school friend or an inquisitive neighbour who proves proficient in extracting details you wish remained concealed—at least from them. You might even catch yourself purposefully avoiding these sorts of people.
Personal development specialist, Moira Geary remarks, “Often, it’s the surprise of the sudden question that triggers our automatic response, causing us to inadvertently reveal the answer, which can later lead to regret.” Geary adds, “We might feel uncomfortable disclosing such in-depth information to someone who isn’t a part of our inner circle.”
Evading the inquisitive types isn’t always feasible, but Geary asserts there are strategies we can put in place to stifle these questions, or at the very least sidestep being compelled to answer them.
Geary advises, “Should you find yourself entering a situation where such inquiries might arise—perhaps while taking the kids to school, at the office coffee machine, or when catching up with friends—it’s important to prepare yourself for the potential for these uncomfortable moments. This can diminish the shock factor.”
She continues, “Upon being asked a personal question, instead of responding hastily, pause and take a moment to regain composure.”
We all know them—the news-hounds, the data diggers—creators of awkward surprises. Geary maintains you must establish clear lines with these people.
“I’d assertively, yet courteously, indicate the subject matter is not one I’d prefer to delve into. Whilst remaining direct, it’s crucial also to retain respect,” she suggests.
For instance, you could express, “I understand you may be curious about my personal affairs, but this doesn’t imply I’m willing to provide the answers. I choose to keep certain aspects of my life private”.
Geary notes, you could give an explanation, though it’s not obligatory. She offers, “You could say, ‘I’m sure you can relate, everyone has parts of their life they prefer to keep hidden.'”
Could this be perceived as being defensive?
Possibly, however, as Geary puts it, “you are safeguarding your personal boundaries and you are doing it respectfully in the process.”
The original text pinpoints the notion of maintaining one’s fortitude and drawing boundaries when encountered with intrusive inquiries. As suggested, one might reply in a manner that validates the inquirer’s curiosity while still honouring a personal preference for non-disclosure. This can be in a form of a respectful yet firm proclamation, a statement representing an even balance of respect and personal sovereignty, as articulated by Geary.
There’s also an explored alternative which involves voluntarily sharing sensitive personal details to an uncomfortable extent during a conversation. Additionally, talk about tactics of deflection gets involved. Particularly in the context of Irish people, switching to humour as a response to undesired questions, rather than giving a forthright response, can seem more suitable. However, the decision rests with the individual.
For Geary, whilst deflecting a query could be an option, he deems it as inadvertently avoiding the issue. He advocates for a more assertive approach which encapsulates addressing the matter head-on. Even though the aim is not to unsettle the opposite party, the use of precise language patterns would help to uphold one’s personal space. This denotes a respectful manner but simultaneously remaining genuine to oneself.