“Halting Language Murder Stops You”

Born in Drumcondra, Sharon O’Flaherty Dehmel is no stranger to the trials that come with expatriate life. Her wealth of experience, gained from working across Italy, Portugal and her native Ireland, forms the core of her role as a business coach where she has spent over twenty years guiding both individuals and corporations through the labyrinth of shifting dynamics and cultural disparities.

O’Flaherty Dehmel is also renowned for her knack for transformation. At the peak of Ireland’s recession in 1987, she began her career in an insurance firm as a secretary, whilst studying to become a chartered insurer during her evenings – a journey she describes as a rise from “the typing pool to company car”.

Her life took a new turn when she married Michael Dehmel, an employee at an international NGO. The pair relocated to a location south of Rome, where they brought up their two daughters over 18 years. Despite lacking knowledge of Italian, O’Flaherty Dehmel immersed herself into her new environment, even establishing a language school and undertaking an MBA.

Establishing oneself in a foreign country can be daunting and often requires an adjustment period of at least a year and a half, according to O’Flaherty Dehmel. She notes that much of the populace grapple with the culture shock, and expressing this struggle to those back home can prove difficult.

“Many believe that they will be embraced by the locals just by turning up. However, adaptability and flexibility quickly become necessary traits”, she remarks. Not everybody shares this willingness to adapt, she notes.

Her MBA sparked a fascination with intercultural learning, pushing her towards certified training and propelling her into a role as a coach and trainer. Her client base primarily comprises fast-growing tech companies based in Ireland and younger professionals seeking to enhance their managerial skills to complement their technical expertise.

She assists individuals who might excel in their fields, such as software engineering, but lack experience in leading teams of varying cultural backgrounds or managing conflict. Helping such individuals acquire the skills needed for their next professional advancement is a fundamental part of her job.

Imparting people with the expertise to deliver beneficial criticism to their subordinates is a task she knows well. She is a strong advocate for continuous feedback; she perceives it to be a better approach than allowing issues to spiral out of control. She notes that superiors often procrastinate until the particular employee fails to deliver, at which point, the blame can’t entirely fall on the worker.

Her spouse’s reassignment to Portugal prompted a relocation for the duo in 2019. They chose a residence in a suburb on the outskirts of Cascais, a holiday destination situated roughly 20km away from the capital city, Lisbon.

With its stunning landscapes, Cascais is a summer tourist attraction. A half-hour train ride can get you to Lisbon. Their home is positioned in one of Cascais’s relatively peaceful and cost-effective suburbs, allowing them to relish the resort during the more tranquil autumn and winter seasons.

Many are astonished by the affordability of dining out in the area; a coffee and pastel de nata could cost as low as €1.80. But with the less than ideal wages typical in Portugal, compared to western Europe, she noted that issues like affordable housing plaguing Ireland, were also common in the country’s more prosperous areas.

The recent clampdown on Portugal’s Golden Visa scheme led to a surge in wealthy folks, causing a soar in property prices.

She noted that some staff at the resorts often endure up to three-hour daily commutes due to accommodation costs. She concedes that individuals earning their livelihood from overseas are in a privileged state.

Nonetheless, O’Flaherty Dehmel states that there are numerous attractive aspects to Portugal besides the evident pleasant weather and excellent gastronomy and viticulture. Similar to Ireland, Portugal is a small country on Europe’s Atlantic fringe with a rich heritage and an influence that exceeds its size. She applauds its progress in domains like energy and IT and implies that it is less red tape-filled than Italy was, making it easier to live and work in.

Her Portuguese proficiency is improving as she makes efforts to blend into her neighbourhood, although good-natured residents may unintentionally hinder newcomers trying to grasp the language in the country.

She noted that in larger cities, English is fairly common, and this can pose a barrier to learning Portuguese. She explained, “As soon as you begin fumbling the language, they attempt to correct you.”

Written by Ireland.la Staff

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