As your youngster approaches the final hurdle of secondary school, they face significant choices about what comes next. As a parent or guardian, figuring out your role in this process can be challenging.
Typically, the youngsters should take the lead in exploring their options and filling out applications, as they’ll need to become more independent as they move on to tertiary education. However, you understand your child’s needs better than anyone else, and some may require more guidance compared to their peers. The worst possible scenario is that, due to lack of help, they end up making costly errors in their research and applications that lead them onto a path they don’t find rewarding.
Neil McCann, a guidance counsellor at St Vincent’s Secondary School in Dublin, advises that like all aspects of parenting, it’s essential to show interest in your child’s life, but not to the point of steering their journey. As they transition into adulthood, it’s crucial that you begin to step back, allowing them to grow and learn independently.
He maintains completing the journey to adulthood isn’t just about selecting the right course or college, but also about understanding practical factors like finance. Questions such as whether they or you can bear the cost of living if they choose to study in Dublin or the UK should be part of your discussions.
The eligibility assessment for student grants is largely dictated by parental income, thereby involving parents in the process. However, this system could potentially disadvantage young individuals who are isolated from their parents due to mistreatment, neglect or, possibly, rejection due to their LGBTQI+ identity.
McCann emphasizes that the key role of parents in this process is to lend their ears to their children’s plans and concerns.
Liam Ryan, who manages undergraduate student recruitment at the University of Limerick, suggests that about 85% of discussions about a student’s academic choices should be listening on the part of the parent or guardian. It’s the student who’s making decisions about their passions and aspirations, after all. While parents can offer their experiences as a guide, it’s essential to remember that students are getting influence from their teachers, guidance counsellors, and above all, their peers.
Parents can provide a degree of supervision and share advice drawn from their own life experiences. They’re there to make sure all aspects and details have been addressed – from meeting the entry requirements to the availability of study abroad opportunities or internships.
Despite needing assistance with the application process, more than 20% of the Irish population were born outside the country. Even native parents, who themselves attended higher education, can find filling in the CAO form and making sure their child meets every deadline a concerning task. It is an even harder task for those parents who are unfamiliar with the Irish education system or didn’t themselves attend higher education.
Guidance counsellors understand this dilemma and do their utmost to manage it, aiming to make sure no deadline is missed and no form is filled in erroneously. Still, with a large number of students under their care, some things can fall through the net. Hence, it is wise for parents to get some basic understanding of the process.
But, insists McCann, the primary role of a parent is simply to be an attentive listener and to ask probing questions. Essentially, the goal is to see the student transform into an expert’ on a certain course, institution, or career path.
For instance, if their interest lies in computer-related courses, vague statements like ‘I think I’d enjoy it’ are not substantial enough. Parents could question them about the entry requirements, the course modules, and opportunities available post the first year.
Suppose they’re considering engineering at UCD. In that case, McCann suggested parents should, through conversation, gauge that the student has put in the necessary research.
Ryan suggests that parents and guardians exhibit guidance to their children rather than imposing a particular direction for them. By enquiring about their interests and potential academic paths, parents can offer suitable advice and assistance.
A common misconception amongst parents and guardians pertains to their outdated understanding of the educational system. They often base their experiences on the times they were in college, presumably around the 1990s, when situations were vastly different. During that time, the internet was not widespread and agencies such as Solas, that offer further education and training, did not exist.
Ryan emphasises that the traditional approach of diving into professions like medicine or law and sustaining it throughout one’s career has disappeared. The labour market seeks more than just hard or technical skills. Employers are investing in soft skills, especially proficiency in communication, which they regard higher than the qualification one holds.
McCann echoes a similar sentiment, emphasising that the evolution in education has been substantial. There now exists greater recognition of the diverse learning styles of individuals and a broader understanding of their learning processes. Although the Leaving Cert and CAO process benefit academic-focused students, these are not the singular routes to success.
Despite parents and guardians’ understanding of their children, traditional collegiate education, culminating in obtaining a degree, may not be an appropriate choice for all. It is necessary for them to listen to their children, recognise their abilities and interests, and consider options they may find enjoyment in, such as apprenticeships.
McCann makes it clear that apprenticeships prepare individuals directly for jobs. While parents familiar with the ’90s educational landscape might picture traditional trades such as plumbing or motor mechanics when thinking of apprenticeships, today’s reality includes fields such as agriculture, horticulture, engineering, finance, and many more.
The options for students to expand into third-level education have also increased, thanks to options like Post-Leaving Cert courses that build into higher education. Moreover, courses offered by the National Tertiary Office do not require a CAO application, as students begin with a year of further education before transitioning into a higher education establishment.
McCann suggests that those parents who have previously navigated the CAO process likely understand its rhythms. Notwithstanding, understanding crucial dates, deadlines, and schedules is crucial. Most educational institutions schedule evenings for parents to guide them through this information – essential especially for parents or guardians preparing their oldest child for this journey.
Ryan acknowledges that the ordeal can be quite a mountain to climb, often resulting in stress. University life is often touted as the best period of one’s life, however, it can be difficult, particularly when moving away from the comfort of home. One recommended way of easing this transition is by teaching the young adult vital skills such as cooking and budgeting before they set off.
In summary, says Ryan, the primary role of the parent or guardian is to ensure that the youngster makes mindful, responsible decisions.
It’s of utmost importance that they carry out thorough research about the course and institution, understand what they’re stepping into, and possess knowledge about the programmes and potential outcomes; these aspects matter the most, he emphasizes.
For parents and guardians, there’s a checklist available:
UL’s career service has developed a valuable resource – Aiming Higher: A Guide for Parents and Students. This guide encompasses useful advice, triggers, and worksheets for parents keen to comprehend the third-level application process.
The material is exceptionally useful, eliminating doubt and uncertainty linked with this potentially stressful process. It provides a walkthrough on third-level education in Ireland, understanding educational lingo, financing third-level education, guiding a young person’s decision-making without taking over, the application process, and CAO schedules.
It also covers alternative pathways for individuals who may opt not to go directly to third-level (or not at all), including other additional resources. Access to this resource is available online at no cost, and is relevant for parents or guardians with children in their senior cycle.