The extended school summer holiday could be a challenging time, especially for parents who are juggling work commitments with establishing the right holiday programme for their kids. The lack of congruence between parental leave holidays and the duration of the school summer vacation leaves parents in a quandary. They end up enrolling their children in a series of summer camps, a decision that often leads to stress, financial pressure and feelings of guilt.
Ciara O’Reilly, a mother of two, has first-hand experience of these issues. One of her children was enrolled in a summer camp, however, due to a sudden emotional upset from the child, she had to abruptly revisit her arrangements. This unforeseen change has left her facing continued pressure.
Booking her children into summer camps for the entire six-week hiatus is proving to be a considerable financial burden for O’Reilly. The exclusion of her daughter from a week of camp due to distress has led to a financial loss of €250, which she says is a huge financial setback for her.
Despite these challenges, O’Reilly has arranged another camp for her daughter the following week which she is hopeful her daughter will enjoy. However, the timing of the camp from 1pm to 4pm spells trouble for her due to other routine duties.
She believes the whole community will need to pitch in to make this work, thus hoping to rope in her brother for transportation and babysitting duties.
Despite all her efforts, O’Reilly grapples with guilt, 100% of the time. She’s torn between her work obligations and providing a fulfilling summer experience for her children. She recalls a time when children never went to camps but spent the summers on the streets with their friends, an experience her children are missing out on. With work demands that keep her occupied, the overpowering guilt she feels extends beyond the camps. She ruminates about her child spending her days alone and it consumes her.
While Elayne O’Hara occupies a senior position in her profession which affords her the convenience to work from home on certain occasions, such as when her daughter declined to attend camp, she acknowledges that this isn’t an option available to everyone. A societal expectation for women to equally invest all their energy in home affairs, work, friendships, their extended family, and family dynamics can result in overwhelming exhaustion and guilt, particularly when they are unable to strike the right balance. Mainly, it is the women’s professional progress that is compromised.
The arrangement of summer activities poses an increased challenge for O’Hara. Starting at 10am and ending around 1:30pm or 2pm means she’s continually juggling her standard working hours, leading to skipped lunch and break times. She admits to often being on the run with the kids, leading a hectic lifestyle.
She mentioned sharing posts on Instagram, encouraging parents to value the limited 18 summers they have with their children. Yet, the reality is often washed over with stress rather than joy. O’Hara has two kids, with her seven-year-old diagnosed with ADHD and needing a reprieve.
Even though a break would be beneficial, O’Hara has had to negotiate with her child, encouraging her to attend camps for the entirety of July. Subsequently, O’Hara plans to take unpaid leave in August, a decision she’s making for the first time in her life amid growing pressures.
Additionally, O’Hara’s partner also contributes by taking time off when she has extended work hours. O’Hara acknowledges that the complexity of managing multiple responsibilities isn’t easily understood by people who haven’t personally experienced such scenarios.
Living equidistant from her abode and the summer camps, her father, age 82, often assists in transporting her daughter. This gives Paula Mooney a bit of reprieve to get back home, allowing her an additional 10 minutes of laptop time. Paula and her husband, both in demanding professions, are parents to two children.
She laments, “Our annual leaves extend to four weeks only, necessitating childcare for the majority of our summer months, except during our two-week break.”. The summer period makes caring for the children increasingly expensive – her youngest goes to a day nursery, whereas the eldest attends a summer camp and is looked after by a childminder.
She hopes the childminder is amenable to ferrying the children and admits to feeling guilt-ridden for working during six out of the total eight weeks of the break. Paula has also observed a noticeable decline in parents helping each other with rides to and from camps. She believes suggesting a shared run may invite judgement and create an impression of parental neglect.
The high expenses incurred for camps and childcare throughout the summer impose a financial burden, which she acknowledges, even as she grapples with the costs of fun activities like visiting a pet farm. The emotional toll of managing work and childcare disproportionately impacts mothers, she asserts. “The lion’s share of burden falls on us women, and while we always make it through, the prospect is always daunting,” she confesses.
Sinéad O’Moore, also a mother of two, has opted for a reduced workload this summer following health issues from the previous year’s strenuous balancing act. Being self-employed, Sinéad acknowledges that her earnings are directly proportional to her work productivity. “Inevitably, I end up earning less over summer, while expenses mount,” says O’Moore, who operates The Brand Story and hosts the Stretch Marks podcast.
As the primary caretaker of her children, she experiences constant stress as she must continue operating her business while reducing her client capacity due to her children’s camp schedule. On top of spending €100-€120 weekly on daycare, she also works on her podcast at night, finding her summers often thrown off track.
By the time September comes, she’s left feeling exhausted. She says, “I’m vying for less exhaustion this year, having fallen quite poorly last year due to burnout.” She points out the outdatedness of a system conceived for an era when mothers typically stayed at home and children’s camp was a luxury, not a necessity. It was established to support parents’ employment, not dictate it.
The drawbacks of decreased profits aren’t the sole worry for her. The thought of needing to rebuild her business once school resumes also weighs on her mind, particularly as it’s uncertain how much time this might require.
She reflects on the emotional strain of reducing her workload during summer, explaining, “I’ve created this metaphorical space for myself, but mentally, I’m never completely free. The stress never ends. I’m always worried about where the business is coming from.”
Bethan O’Riordan, a psychotherapist who leads the Calm Parenting Community, cautions parents against over-scheduling their children. She acknowledges the pressures of childcare and advises parents to “limit the time they need their child looked after, allowing the child moments of relaxation.”
In her view, summer should be a time of respite for children, an opportunity for unstructured play that is essential for their growth. As parents grapple with the dilemma of how many summer camps are too many, O’Riordan suggests they “attune to their child’s needs. Determine what level of stimulation is excessive. Consider their social, educational, and academic needs.”
The manner in which parents should handle their child’s reluctance to go to camp depends entirely on the child. Gentle reassurance might be all it takes for some, while others may require an attentive ear. “Are they in need of a break? Do they need more of your time?” O’Riordan queries.
Regarding managing guilt associated with parenting, O’Riordan suggests keeping in mind that you are not the only one in that position. She acknowledges that it’s an immense challenge to maintain a balance. However, she advises striving for good time management, reviewing your timetable and determining when you are able to take a break from your digital devices and occupation. She emphasises that parenting is more about the quality of time spent rather than the volume. Hence, she advises to be completely engaged whilst spending time with your children.