Duffer’s Nerves Tested by Race

Virgin Media may have squandered an opportunity to provide live visuals from Damien Duff’s lounge during the Dundalk versus Shamrock Rovers match. They could have shown Duff, reclined on his sofa, his springer spaniel Bella in his lap, tucked away in one corner of the screen. But it is plausible that he decided to re-watch an episode of Only Fools and Horses to escape the mounting tension of this championship.

As host Bernard O’Toole duly noted, only two teams remained in contention after the most recent games: front-runners Shelbourne and Rovers, who sought a fifth consecutive victory. In the event Rovers fell to Dundalk, Shels would secure the championship with a match in hand. Audiences would then miss out on witnessing Duff and Bella celebrating in his lounge.

Gruelling situations like these inevitably force football managers to ponder their career decisions. Rodney and Duff, as well as Rovers’ manager Stephen Bradley, could have preferred success at snooker to be decoded in Ireland’s League battlefield.

Somewhere amidst all these, Bernard’s experts, Eoin Doyle and Ian Morris, expressed confidence that Rovers would defeat the already demoted Dundalk, keeping the championship suspense intact until the final day. Keith Treacy, sharing the commentary box with Dave McIntyre on an exceptionally bleak evening at Oriel Park, held the same view.

During the first half, the game was at a stalemate with Dundalk nearly breaking the deadlock after Jad Hakiki’s aggressive volley almost took out Rovers’ crossbar. Both Eoin and Ian were left puzzled over Rovers’ performance, considering there was a championship on the line. However, it was clear they were aware of this, as demonstrated by Dylan Watts’ goal in the 58th minute and subsequent festivities. Duffer and Bella were left disappointed, and the game ended without any further change, leading to a tense final day of the competition. As Del Boy once said, “Mange Tout”.

Those teams that were once potential champions but ultimately fell short are now left with questions of “what if”. Following Saturday’s El Clásico on La Liga TV (provided by Premier Sports), Guillem Balagué deeply analysed these possibilities. “Had a couple of those shots been off by millimetres, we’d be discussing a different outcome,” he suggested. This is easy enough to say, but given that Barcelona beat Real Madrid 4-0 on their home turf in Bernabeu, such speculation seems a bit moot. Robert Lewandowski’s performance was commanding, despite him noticeably avoiding a hat-trick – does he not have room for more game balls?

Yet, it can’t be denied that Barcelona were truly impressive. Early forecast: Lamine Yamal is going places in the football world. “In the 90th minute, Barcelona mounts a counterattack with seven players, including Yamal – unbelievable,” noted co-commentator Chapi Ferrer.

On another note, Cole Palmer’s skills on the field are also worth noting. In a pre-match interview, Gianfranco Zola highlighted Palmer’s anticipation skills of planning his next move even before he gets the ball. This was evident when Palmer sent a 60-yard pass to Pedro Neto, much like a bullseye hit in darts, leading up to Nicolas Jackson’s goal in the Chelsea vs Newcastle game.

Without question, Thomas Tuchel likely reclined comfortably on his sofa, clad in his cosy house shoes, envisioning the victory procession in a roofless bus through the streets of London following his triumph in the 2026 World Cup.

Palmer expressed his gratitude for Zola’s compliments later on, however, there was a lurking feeling that his youthfulness might not allow him to distinguish Gianfranco Zola from a tropical fruit. “I’m aware he’s a big deal in Fifa, so he must’ve been skilled,” he commented about the digital game. “All say he was a superb player, so my thanks.” Evidently, we’re over the hill.

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