The prior British Prime Minister Liz Truss finds herself grappling to retain her seat in the House of Commons for the pastoral area of South West Norfolk. Despite its serene landscape, this peaceful English borough may serve as the backdrop for a severe twist in Truss’s unpredictable political journey.
Once considered a reliable Tory stronghold, South West Norfolk has evolved into an unpredictable arena, due in part to local Tory dissatisfaction with Truss and the surging popularity of Reform UK. As the decisive week draws nearer, Truss finds herself in a four-sided contest against Labour, Reform and James Bagge, a local independent incumbent hailing from the Conservative lineage. Bagge was formerly part of the staunch rural conservative activists colloquially referred to as the ‘Turnip Taliban’, which previously attempted to overturn Truss in the wake of a scandal involving an extramarital affair.
Adding to the election’s drama, unknown miscreants recently defaced Truss’s campaign banners, overwriting the final letters of her surname with “MP”. Accusations that she’s been fraternising politically with supporters of the past, and perhaps future, US president represent just a fraction of the criticism she faces in Norfolk.
If Truss fails to maintain her seat, she would not only be remembered as Britain’s shortest-serving prime minister, but also the first ex-premier to be ousted in a general election since Herbert Asquith in 1918. Imagine the further embarrassment if she shared the election results stage with a man named Elvis donned in a vibrant orange suit and top hat, a representative of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. This party, known for its humorous candidates bearing serious messages, has been active for over 40 years and is currently targeting her constituency among 21 others.
Quirky candidates are a cherished element of the UK election cycle, like the recent London mayoral election where the extreme-right hopeful Nick Scanlon from Britain First couldn’t outvote Count Binface, a candidate wearing a dustbin as a head, who suggested rebranding a Thames crossing as Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
In the South West Norfolk region, ballot papers feature a candidate from the Monster Raving Loony party who goes by the moniker Earl Elvis of East Anglia, in reality known as Ashley Inwood. His eccentric campaign promises include propositioning that socks be retailed in packs of three to counteract the annoyance of misplacing one, and a commitment to spray-paint half of Britain’s grey squirrels red, with the intention of augmenting the numbers of the indigenous variant.
This unconventional political party has a habit of pitting candidates against renowned politicians. One such example is Tory prime minister Rishi Sunak, who has been challenged in his Richmond and Northallerton constituency in North Yorkshire by a Loony party nominee named Sir Archibald Stanton. Stanton, known for his striking tiger-print ensemble, has made controversial proposals such as proactively outlawing greyhound racing as a measure to prevent the country’s “decline to dog status.”
Similarly, the leader of the Labour party, Keir Starmer, has been confronted in his Holborn & St Pancras constituency, located in Northern London, by a recurring Loony candidate, Nick the Incredible Flying Brick. Under his real name, Nick Delves, he carries a highly improbable promise of abolishing gravity, and even proposes a groundbreaking endeavour to bore into the lunar centre to test his theories. His idea, detailed on his campaign website, appeals to any potential financial backers.
In parallel with these peculiar scenarios, key Brexit supporter Jacob Rees-Mogg is fiercely fighting to retain his position. Among his contenders is the Monster Raving Loony party’s Barmy Brunch, known outside the political sphere as Phil Adams, a distinctive character who sports a facial covering created from baked beans and fried eggs. His campaign slogan proclaims an ambition to “restore the glory of brunch.”
Earl Elvis, aka Ashley Inwood however, discloses the primary motive behind his political engagement is to raise awareness about the absence of a “none of the above” option on UK voting forms – an addition he vehemently argues should be officially incorporated. Despite being seen sharing a light moment with Truss at a previous count centre in 2019, current circumstances may preclude any such casual conversation if she fails to secure her position.
The leader of the Liberal Democrats, Ed Davey, Claire Coutinho, the Conservative environment secretary, and Diane Abbott from the Labour party, are all competing against candidates from the Official Monster Raving Looney Party. The party is led by the eccentric Howling Laud Hope (real name: Alan Hope), who is contesting against Ranil Jayawardena, a close associate of Truss, in North East Hampshire.
The Loonies, despite their humorous flair, are unlikely to secure any seats or even successfully guard their deposits, a feat rather unsurprising, given Hope’s unique history of co-leading his party with his pet cat, Catmando.
In the aftermath of the forthcoming Friday, tensions may very well escalate among top Tories if their notable leaders are defeated by these bold candidates.