“Blanchett as Intergalactic Hunter in Borderlands”

Gamers are divided into two camps: those who devote attention to the storyline and those who are too engrossed in their high-powered weaponry to realise a narrative even exists. As someone who has dedicated a significant amount of time to playing Borderlands, your current reviewer struggles to recall any crucial details of the game’s lore.

In what seems to be a similar vein, Eli Roth’s uncomplicated, star-stuffed interpretation appears to share this indifference. Cate Blanchett – renowned actress now turned space-faring bounty hunter – glosses over the backstory of this universe, declaring it ‘nonsensical’. Does this mean we’re veering into the cynical, self-aware humour reminiscent of Deadpool and Wolverine?

Not quite. Roth, director of notorious films such as Hostel and Cabin Fever, delivers an unvarnished dose of pulp in Borderlands. Some corporate villain recruits the relentless character Lilith, portrayed by a seemingly amused Blanchett, to rescue his kidnapped daughter from the notorious planet of Pandora – Lilith’s home turf. The spontaneous group also includes Claptrap, an irritating robot, and an array of miscreants each with their unique mockery. And as for Gina Gershon’s replication of Mae West, the less said the better.

A notable distinction from Deadpool is their soundtrack choice – favouring the earnest track ‘Ace of Spades’ by Motörhead rather than the dramatised usage of Madonna’s ‘Like a Prayer’. An old-school sentimentality, indeed.

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Primarily, the familiar elements seem to be stereotypes, rather than “tropes”. The moment when Blanchett announces, “I’m too old for this nonsense,” doesn’t come across as a jest made at the cost of past overage action heroes who have recited it prior to her. Regrettably, as it drags on, it becomes increasingly difficult to see it as simple, innocent nonsense and it starts to demand we take its ludicrous plot seriously. Gaming aficionados will unintentionally find themselves impulsively pressing an imaginary X button, fervently wishing to return to the game. Alas, there’s no escape. You’re trapped with this absurd nonsense.

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