Bella Mackie: Feared Schizophrenia

Bella Mackie, a renowned author and columnist, was diagnosed with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) when she was only 18 years old. This diagnosis was described as being somewhat comforting, but also unexpected for Mackie.

At the time, she had been fervently convinced that her symptoms had pointed towards schizophrenia. She took her concerns to her doctor in a state of panic, thinking she was dealing with a different mental health struggle.

The reality of being diagnosed with OCD, a condition she didn’t fully understand, hadn’t been on her radar. She was under the belief that the disorder specifically involved repetitive actions like repeated touching and handwashing.

OCD, however, can present itself in varied forms, and for Mackie, this came in the shape of distressing thoughts. She grappled with perplexing questions such as doubts about her existence, uncertainties about the world being a simulation, and the peculiar thought of her parents being automatons. These thoughts led her to believe that she suffered from schizophrenia.

The struggle with OCD, she goes on to explain, lies in the vicious cycle of trying to challenge the irrational thoughts, only to have the brain present further endorsement of these thoughts, leading to a mental tug-of-war that felt incessant.

One of her best strategies for managing her mental health, as we learn from her 2018 memoir “Jog On: How Running Saved My Life”, is indeed, exercise. Running has played a significant part in strengthening her mental wellbeing. Therapy and medication have proven to be beneficial. She also appreciates the power of humour in making her condition seem less daunting.

After the triumph of her first project, Jog On, Mackie relinquished her journalism career to dedicate her time completely to authorship. Her risky decision proved fruitful when her first fiction novel, How to Kill Your Family, turned into a sensation across the globe, selling in excess of a million copies post its 2021 publication.

Mackie returns with her latest literary endeavour, What a Way to Go. This grimly humorous ‘whodunnit’ revolves around the demise of a vastly wealthy yet despised man, Anthony Wistern. It doesn’t directly follow its predecessor but exists in the “same multiverse”, as described by Mackie.

In the course of the discussion, we delve into Mackie’s fascination for web-based detectives and amateur investigators: ordinary individuals attempting to crack crime cases ahead of professional law enforcement. She describes this growing trend as a pursuit of social media approval and the quest for followers, even at the cost of exploiting tragic circumstances. This has influenced the creation of one of her key characters.

As the conversation progresses, she provides a glimpse into her swift proposal to her “present husband”, BBC’s Greg James, the forthcoming Netflix adaptation of her inaugural novel and recounts the daunting experience she encountered with a stalker.

You can access this episode with the player provided above, or simply type ‘The Women’s Podcast’ in your preferred podcast platforms.

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