The trend of quasi-apologies in the world of politics and fame is a disappointing but recurrent element of contemporary society. Instances of this can be likened to Bill Clinton’s deceit about his affair with Monica Lewinsky or Richard Nixon’s controversies, not to mention the myriad of web personalities and their numerous unfortunate mishaps, and the multiple occasions Kanye West has acted characteristically.
Last week, the US Secret Service director, Kimberly Cheatle, stepped down following her ineffective performance during a congressional enquiry. This was prompted by a significant incident on July 13th in Butler, Pennsylvania, which resulted in the death of one person and several injuries during a botched assassination attempt on Donald Trump. Cheatle had apologized for the oversights that allowed a young man to get to a nearby rooftop and carry out the attack whilst she was in charge.
This incident raises very intriguing questions about the notion of apologies in our personal and public lives. Despite many of us being proficient in the practice of apologising and accepting apologies, there’s often confusion about what an apology should really encompass, its sincerity, and its actual objective. We generally trust our instinct to recognize a genuine apology. However, philosopher Martha Nussbaum tells us in her book “Upheavals of Thought”, that the emotional state that backs an apology is essential for its authenticity. According to her, guilt is a manifestation of moral acknowledgment, while remorse is a reflective, deeper variant of guilt. One must experience both to truly show contrition.
A leader, by virtue of their position, is invariably accountable for the deeds of their subordinates, whether those are mistakes, neglect, or misconduct and should acknowledge fault willingly. Nevertheless, power often grants a shrewd knack of escape from repercussions, assigning blame elsewhere or proffering cursory apologies, while safeguarding personal advantages. The empty apologies given by politicians and celebrities exemplify perfect instances of feigning remorse devoid of the essential emotional honesty and altruistic intention, which Nussbaum identifies as crucial for a sincere apology.
When contemplating an apology from a philosophical perspective – be it for infidelity committed against our partner, or feeling deserving of an apology from someone else – it’s necessary to understand its prerequisites and appropriate circumstances. An apology is not merely a means to an end, but an independent conclusion. Its purpose is not to calm down an aggrieved person, sustain harmony or create an environment for moving forward collectively. It must be tendered sincerely, sprung from genuine guilt; acknowledging the damage done. Any attempt to dilute, defend or dance around the issue is inappropriate. The focus mustn’t be the offender, but those who suffer from their misdeeds.
Importantly, without the wrongdoer bearing a cost, an apology may seem insincere, as evidenced by the public outcry when Cheatle admitted fault, yet remained in her role. Admitting serious misconduct requires more than simply stating it; the expectation to retain all previous benefits is unjust when harm has been inflicted upon others. Expressing regret involves willingly becoming the target for others’ discomfort and hurt. In a leadership role, one must bear both the symbolic and actual responsibility. Thus, for a certain duration, you become the ‘villain’. Naturally, we tend to avoid this, apologise to alleviate our guilt or defend ourselves, rather than showing remorse to the affected, that might prove cathartic for them, irrespective of their decision to forgive or not.
The price paid isn’t punitive, rather a recognition of scale. When damage is done, it’s unfair to let the offender remain unscathed or their life undisturbed compared to those they’ve harmed.
Under this perspective, authentic apologies are not commonplace. Nussbaum established a lofty expectation through asserting the requirement for profound, conscious regret. However, there is a silver lining; regret induces an environment conducive to moral growth. Within this fertile ground, we can improve ourselves and strive to rebuild the lost trust. Each one of us has given an insincere and egoistic apology. The culpable, dependent type. The pragmatic political one, designed either to deceive, control or self-defend. We have all been recipients of appalling apologies. Notwithstanding the difficulty in finding strong instances of public apologies, it is possible for us to foster them in our lives, provided we show genuine remorse.