“Those About to Die” isn’t a competition reality show for hair stylists (you’re thinking of Those About to Dye – which I retain the rights to). Instead, it is a highly esteemed drama on Prime Video, brought to life under the careful direction of Roland Emmerich, with screenplay by Robert Rodat, and showcasing the talent of renowned actor Anthony Hopkins. Being a Brit, I might be inclined to avoid any Roman-influenced art that doesn’t feature our very own Paul Mescal (he stars in Gladiator 2: 2 Much Gladiator! showing off his muscular physique), however, due to my responsibilities as a journalist, I find myself obliged to view “Those About to Die” and relay my thoughts on it to you.
Does “Those About to Die” delve deeply into the intricacies of Roman architectural mastery, the subtle intricacies of imperial social stratification, or the nitty-gritty of empire management? The opening sequence – featuring a river of blood inundating immaculate marble statues as opera harmonises in the background – suggests in the negative.
Does the show promise displays of robust men in minimalist attire crossing swords, alternated with scenes set in brothels? Indeed, it unequivocally assures this, with “crossing swords” intended in the most literal sense. The element that affirms its ‘prestige drama’ label is no other than its strategic showcasing of muscular hindquarters in action. The only piece lacking in the bloody marble opening sequence would be a mesh-up of posterior shots, with Hopkins’ ghostly floating head tossed into the mix, and whispers of “bottoms”, “costly!” and “Power is the unstated message here”. It won’t be long before film studios throw caution to the wind and commission renowned filmmakers to craft artful montages of backside shots; a Montage of Bottoms directed by Roland Emmerich – that’s sure to reel in the Emmys.
“Those About to Die” is staged at a Rome reconstructed with CGI technology. Its lead character, Tenax (a role Iwan Rheon effortlessly breathes life into), seems aptly named for a Roman, but also gives off vibes of a Marvel supervillain or a health supplement. He’s an ambitious and cunning gambler with a covert plan to acquire one of Rome’s leading chariot racing factions.
Anthony Hopkins’s latest highly esteemed drama has sparked an intriguing idea within me. It pertains to the strategic showcasing of bottoms.
Danny Dyer has the talent to enact any role, from a flutist in war-ravaged Budapest to British romantic poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, or even the saviour of humanity, Jesus Christ. His versatility knows no bounds.
The resurgence of fish-out-of-water style television has proven to be rather entertaining. The cast of Criminal Minds present themselves as though employed by Accenture, their behaviour and dialogue are almost mirrored. Our main protagonist is a figure of complex nuances, demonstrate by his quick transition from ordering a murder to benignly smiling at street youths to convey his inherently positive nature. (Picture the script highlighting a staged moment of him engaging with children post-execution for increased audience sympathy.)
His closest ally, and fellow entrepreneur, is a renowned charioteer, Scorpius (as portrayed by Dimitri Leonidas). This character, noted for his penchant for speaking of himself in the third person, akin to The Hulk, is introduced during an amorous encounter with the spouse of his employer in a bordello. This fact is further clarified when Tenax stumbles upon them mid-act, exclaiming, “The wife of Consul Marsus, your boss, the owner of the blue faction!” This style of dialogue is economical, given the vast array of characters and plot intricacies to be presented in these serials.
Additionally, there’s a hunter named Kwame (interpreted by Moe Hashim) who is specialised in tracking CGI beasts, quickly finding himself coerced into fighting in a Roman gladiator’s ring. We later witness a fellow competitor amputating limbs from one of Kwame’s comrades sequentially. (An echo of the timeless line “Tis but a scratch!” from a recognisable limb-deprived movie hero.) His sisters have been subjugated into slavery, their mother (played by Sara Martins-Court) tracking them to Rome, seeking to purchase their freedom. Aside, she uncovers further proof of Tenax’s inherent decency when he assists her in a disparaging manner.
Somewhere else, a power struggle is underway between two descendants of the Flavian dynasty. The term “scion” is archaic and essentially means “descendant.” Titus (played by Tom Hughes) is one of them; a stern military man with a trendy beard, his lover a Jewish royal who is striving to safeguard her kinfolk. The other protagonist is the cunning politician Domitian (brilliantly enacted by JoJo Macari), who enjoys betting on the horses. Surprisingly, both gentlemen lack an appreciation for porridge, much to their Flavian patriarch’s dismay. It’s interesting to note that both Titus and Domitian eventually ascend to the emperor’s throne (learned in classics class but verified on Wikipedia), proving that any dream is possible if your father is an emperor and if your dream is to turn into one.
From the first episode’s onset, there are upheavals fueled by a grain scarcity. Domitian counters this by organising a grand horse-drawn chariot race at the Circus Maximus, to which the Roman populace responds with the same excitement that a baby shows towards a jingling key. Protesters are soon transformed into boisterous spectators which eliminates the need for Titus’ military. Despite incurring significant losses on the horses, Domitian is pleased because he sees his success in tarnishing his brother’s reputation in their father’s sight. He claims to have triumphed in a way that was far more significant, “I tarnished my brother’s image in the eyes of our father”, – a sentiment we all share, particularly about our sibling named David.
Vespasian, their father, is enacted by Hopkins. Although he is largely deprived of screentime in the Flavahan’s industrial/palace hybrid location, being written off by the third episode itself. However, even the smallest dose of Hopkins’ presence is enough to drive a high-quality drama series in these challenging times; no hard feelings there — he is absolutely captivating.
“Those About to Die is characterised by flaws, analogous to numerous modern high-cost historical dramas. The incessant use of CGI lends it grandeur, albeit coupled with an ethereal quality. The melodramatic clamouring of yesteryears soundtrack can occasionally be overpowering. The frequent blend of solemnity with absurdity (“Yes, a handsome man is mutilating another such man, but our show is more a metaphor for current political situations”) is palpable. Yet, one cannot deny the engaging rhythm and delightfully mindless amusement it delivers. Rheon as a cunning and resilient pariah outsmarting the Roman aristocracy is a sight worth watching. Witnessing Scorpius and his fellow charioteers compete amidst raucous, fickle and riotous inebriated spectators brought to mind scenes from Cheltenham. Perhaps I am beginning to develop a fondness for sport.
My sentiments towards Tenax’s sector of the betting industry are decidedly more affectionate as compared to the celebrity backed sports wagering commercials that plague today’s advert intervals. Despite Tenax’s occasional killing of in-debt customers, I maintain, tentatively, that he destroys fewer lives than the modern-day digital gambling sector. After all, observe the passionate crowd– completely engrossed in the present, with not a single mobile device in sight.”