Alison Healy: Online Marketplace Wonders

Isn’t it remarkable how children can take you by surprise? A couple of years back, my child returned from school and nonchalantly uttered that DoneDeal, the online classifieds platform, had banned him.

In the pandemonium of dinner preparation, the information was filed away in my mind for future consideration, only to be forgotten swiftly. As I attempted to prevent our dinner pasta from spilling over and dealing with his siblings’ quarrel over seating, the DoneDeal issue was quietly pushed aside.

The subsequent day, my son returned from school with news that the headmaster may ring me regarding DoneDeal. It shivers any parents’ spine hearing the words headmaster and call in one sentence. Upon investigation, it was unveiled that in a jest of rather poor taste, he and a schoolmate decided to place an ad on DoneDeal.

The acquisition of iPads at school was recent and exciting for the first-year pupils, and their eagerness to utilise these led to their dubious decision. Amongst the wide range of objects on the website were offerings from Suffolk rams to stylish bridal gowns, yet the boys owned none of these. With nothing else to advertise, they decided to photograph one of them and published it, offering the child for sale along with his stone-picking and stick-cutting skills.

With their prank forgotten and their concentration back on the school task of understanding the Roman Empire’s rise, they didn’t realise the ad was swiftly flagged at DoneDeal’s base as problematic. The situation escalated when the IP address led to their school and attention was drawn to the headmaster.

The incident of my son attempting to trade a classmate online created a stir for both the website featuring small ads and the distressed school headmaster. However, after it was known that the act involved mutual agreement between the boys and was not an act of bullying, it didn’t seem as terrible. Nevertheless, it led me into disgracedly conversing over an unexpected phone call, apologising for my son’s rogue act. After serving a detention of two days and enduring a ban from DoneDeal, my son finally put the incident behind him.

Such bizarre online trade incidents are not exclusive to these boys. In an intriguing tale from 2006, an Australian man decided to auction New Zealand on eBay, with an initial starting bid of just one cent in Australian currency. Despite reaching an impressive $3,000, eBay intervened, aborting the trade which had already generated 22 bids by then.

Another similar episode took place during the 2008 financial crisis, when Iceland was listed on an online auction platform. The bidding for Iceland began at a higher rate of 99p and before it was pulled down, the bidding value skyrocketed to £10 million. The fact that the auction didn’t include famous Icelandic singer, Björk, might have deterred avid Iceland enthusiasts from bidding higher. Humorous queries from potential bidders added a fun twist, with one potential buyer wondering if their payment would be ‘frozen’ and another enquiring over volcano and earthquake insurance.

Emotions sometimes run high on such platforms, like in the case of Hayley Shaw, wife of British TV presenter and DJ Tim Shaw, who used this forum for an act of revenge. Upset by her husband openly admitting on live radio that he would abandon his family for model Jodie Marsh, his wife, Hayley retaliated. She quickly listed his prized Lotus Esprit on eBay at a mere 50p, and within a few minutes, the car was sold – long gone before Tim could get home from work. It’s been rumoured that he had to buy it back later.

Although a range of peculiar items get listed for sale online, one of the strangest listings has to be the cough drop on eBay. But this was not any random cough drop – it was reportedly discarded by the then Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. A whopping $500 was requested by the seller from buyers who wished to own supposedly a DNA sample of the actor-turned-politician.

As reported by the LA Times, two photographs of a part-consumed, discolouring lozenge were included in the listing accompanied by a sales script highlighting the sweet as a “necessity”. Regrettably for the vendor, the item was classified as a “definite no” as it was promoted under the label of Schwarzenegger’s DNA, falling therefore into the category of bodily parts. As a result, it contravened the guidelines of the auction firm, prompting removal of the advertisement. EBay remarked that the item could be presumably marketed as a keepsake, but for the star’s pastille, it was a case of goodbye. Unlike the renowned actor, his sweet did not make a return.

Written by Ireland.la Staff

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